“Holiday of a lifetime” – was Toto right?
Sunshine, and the promise of an evening filled with talk about Uganda and birds: I think I’ve got my mojo back. Now, after a day at the UK Bird Fair, I’m driving along in perfect sunshine, following Roger in his little red car. I’m very happy.
It’s been ages since I published a blog, hasn’t it Dearest Reader? Travel, IT problems, work commitments, the death of my beloved Baldrick – and plain old exhaustion – took their toll…. but de Muzungu is back on form. I hope you’re going to be able to keep up!
I switch on the radio.
“Who would you like the request for?” Asks the DJ.
“Please play it for me and my husband who are going on Safari in Kenya this weekend.”
Negative African stereotype no. 1:
- The Caller pronounced it “Keeeenya,” the old colonial way.
“Sounds like the ‘holiday of a lifetime’!” Says the DJ.
“We’re taking a drive across the Rift Valley, then to the beach in Mombasa, hoping the pirates from Somalia don’t get us.” (The DJ agrees that being kidnapped by pirates would not make for a good holiday of a lifetime. Memory of a lifetime flashing before you, maybe!)
Negative African stereotype no. 2:
- Visiting the East African coast necessarily involves Somali pirates.
Negative African stereotype no. 3:
- We’re lucky that we know the Caller is going to Kenya, not just any old African country. She has no idea where in Keeeenya she’s actually going for her Safari.
“Where did you spend your honeymoon?” Asks the DJ.
“Cornwall,” she replies. (South West England). “Nothing to hunt there!” She jokes.
Negative African stereotype no. 4:
- Going on Safari equates to hunting animals.
The DJ corrects her: “I don’t think you’ll be hunting animals on Safari. We don’t do that anymore.” (Actually, there is limited, regulated hunting on some Safaris in Africa but the vast majority of holidaymakers just come to shoot with cameras).
“And what song would you like me to play for you Caller?”
“Africa” by Toto.
Negative African stereotype no. 5:
“Africa” by Toto.
I confess: I can’t help it, I love singing along to the song – perhaps because I’ve heard it a gazillion times.
It seems a bit naff to be listening to it in Uganda – though god knows we hear it at least once every night we’re at a local bar.
Toto’s ‘Africa’ was released in 1983, here’s the video, with words beneath… scroll down a bit further though, I need your attention a little longer…!
The Muzungu’s having mixed feelings now about singing along to Toto’s song Africa. What a patronising load of crap.
I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She’s coming in 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say
“Hurry boy, it’s waiting there for you!”
It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had
The wild dogs cry out in the night [the Muzungu: that'll be the street dogs running amok!]
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what’s right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti [the Muzungu: hmmm? geography!]
I seek to cure what’s deep inside
Frightened of this thing that I’ve become [the Muzungu: not a good lyric writer, I'm telling ya!]
It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had
Hurry boy, she’s waiting there for you
It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had
So, Dearest Reader, apparently “this song tells the story of a man who comes to Africa and must make a decision about the girl who comes to see him. He is enamored with the country [Africa is a country is it? Well, blow me, I never knew that!] but he must leave if he is going to be with her.”
“Toto keyboard player David Paich wrote the song, and explained: “At the beginning of the ’80s I watched a late night documentary on TV about all the terrible death and suffering of the people in Africa. It both moved and appalled me and the pictures just wouldn’t leave my head. I tried to imagine how I’d feel about if I was there and what I’d do.” Paich had never been to Africa when he wrote the song.” [You don’t say!]
Jeez what did I start? I wish I hadn’t Googled this. What a depressing load of uneducated rubbish. There’s so little exposure of the many wonderful, beautiful, talented and extraordinary things happening right now on this continent. Writing Diary of a Muzungu is my minuscule, personal attempt at trying to combat some of the many negative perceptions and untruths about Africa.
