To all my fellow bloggers out there, (yes, that includes micro-blogging through a Facebook status)… Have you ever encountered people with a guilty conscience? Let me elaborate.
Often when I share a blog, I expect people to react. That’s the point, isn’t it? What I find most interesting about being a blogger is when people confront me about a blog I posted. I don’t mean giving praise/suggestions about a post. I always welcome praise and constructive criticism. What I mean is, when people ask the question, “Was that post about me?”
Was that post about you? Well, if you have to ask, that makes me wonder if you have a guilty conscience. You know the old saying, “Well, if the shoe fits!” Sure, maybe the post was encouraged by actions of another person/people. Almost every blogger writes from experience. But the moment you ask me if a post was written about you, that is the moment I beg the question, “Should that post been about you!?”
Blogging is my outlet. It is an opportunity for me to write my feelings, make sense of things that have happened, and share what I have learned from the experience. Some may consider this to be passive aggressive. That is fine. Personally, I try to avoid coming off that way by using the issue at hand as fuel to share a lesson for us all; a lesson that only can come from experience. A great example of this is my post, Rules on Love. I used my unfortunate experience to share a lesson. I felt that post was well-received by my followers.
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Here’s the lesson I want us all to receive today, because we are all guilty of thinking to ourselves at some point, “Was that post about me?” If you have a guilty conscience…
- …you should be honest with yourself. So you know you are wrong. Admit it. I am not saying walk up to the person and admit your wrongdoing right off the bat. I think you should first admit it to yourself. Take a moment to come to terms with the fact that you did something that negatively affected another person.
- …feel remorseful, but do not regret it. Are some of your mouths open in shock? I hate the word regret. How can we regret things? The only way to learn is through making mistakes. I don’t care how dumb the mistake. Regret does not make us stronger. Remorse does, though, because it is a feeling that will actually lead to an apology and change (IMO).
- … acknowledge your behavior to the other person. Only do this when you understand what you did wrong and have made a plan to improve that behavior. Like number two states: feel remorseful, but do not regret it. Tell the person that you understand what upset him/her, and you plan to make “x” changes in order to avoid this action again.
- …actually make a change. Anyone can say they will be better, but you have to follow through in order for people to trust again. This step is probably the hardest. Change can be difficult and unpopular, I know. Not changing can be fatal, though.
Not everyone will agree with this post. I get it. My goal is not to make anyone feel inferior or guilty. I simply want us ALL to understand that a guilty conscience is not something to ignore.
Completely unwarranted life lesson from a married woman #27: Liberate yourself from guilt! Instead of asking if a post was about you (because chances are it was), escape from the guilt trap. Be courageous and get out of there!
