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It’s not often over the years that we have been able to spend time together just the two of us. But now that the kids are getting older and the older ones can watch the little ones we are getting back out there and dating outside of the home. Even just walking to the store just the two of us. And without kids to hold the hands of we can now hold each others hand more often.
I might have almost forgotten what it feels like actually. Our fingers intertwined. I can feel the strength and warmth of his hand covering mine and it just gives me this feeling of safety and security. That one small act of holding hands makes me feel so loved and connected to him. So protected and safe. But slipping my hand into his feels just as right as it did the first time I did it sixteen years ago. It just fits, it belongs there.
I hadn’t really given too much thought to the actual act of holding my husband’s hand. We’re always holding someone’s hand that it never really occurred to me how special that actually is. How that one small and seemingly simple act can do so much. I’m sure it’s because we have small children. As the kids grow and need us less and less we will begin to find our way back to each other more and more. But why should we have to find our way back to each other?
I kind of wish I had realized just what I was missing all these years though. We shouldn’t wait for the kids to need us less to hold hands. I must admit, the other day when we were stealing a few moments away with each other and I slipped my hand into his, I was just as nervous about it as the first time I did it. Like does he want to hold my hand? It’s silly, I know, and as soon as I did it I realized how silly it was to feel that way because he accepted my hand openly. And why wouldn’t he?
We have been through a lot together over the years. Much of our family disapproving of our relationship or just us in general, several different moves, the loss of a child. And through it all, in spite of it all, we have remained together. So there really shouldn’t be a doubt in my mind that he wouldn’t want to be close to me and hold my hand, but those are my insecurities talking.
But if I could give out one piece of advice today to all of you parents out there with small children, hold your spouse’s hand as often as you can. At the dinner table, on the couch watching TV together, sitting in traffic. Don’t wait until they are older, don’t even wait until you have a date night. Do it now and do it often, I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Twenty years from now when all of the kids are grown and out of the house here we will sit hand in hand. And hopefully it won’t be foreign to us. We have got to remember though, that the kids do grow up and they do leave us. And it’s easy to get caught up in our kids need me and they are only little once. Yes, this is true, but there are ways to steal moments of intimacy and connection with our spouse even when the kids are small and we just should. Because I have to tell you, the more I gave thought to this and how I felt putting my hand in my husband’s the more I realize that the simple act of holding his hand was really the best medicine. So please excuse me while I go hold his hand some more…
