Waiting on the World to Change

Vicky & Me - Collingwood, ON - Fall 2007

It was halfway through October in 2007.  The day started out like most other days.  I slept late, had breakfast, showered and got ready to go into the city.  I had to make a couple of stops and then I had an appointment at the Cancer Centre.
When I arrived I found out that there was a 30 minute delay.  I hate when that happens but I can deal with that.  I had gotten used to that over the past several months and I usually expected to wait about 20 minutes or so.  Then they changed the wait time to 45 minutes.  I was really starting to get antsy because I still had errands to do and the kids were going to be getting home from school soon.  Finally they called me and put me into the little room.  You know that little room I’m talking about.  The one where they move you from the main waiting room to the room where you will eventually see the doctor.  I said eventually.  They deceive you into thinking that the doctor will be right in.  Wrong.

Alex - Carter Bay, ON - Summer 2007

I waited another 45 minutes once I got in that little room.  I found myself feeling very frustrated and angry.  I almost couldn’t contain the frustration I felt about waiting for so long and I was actually pacing.  I don’t think I’ve ever paced before but I went back and forth for what seemed an eternity.  One thing that I had noticed about myself since this journey began is that I had grown to HATE waiting for things.  It would drive me crazy.  Maybe it’s because I spent so much time in waiting rooms at the cancer centre, hospitals, and clinics or maybe it’s because I felt that my time could have been better spent doing something else like living or maybe it’s because I resented the fact that I had to go to these appointments in the first place.  Whatever it was I knew that I was going to have to keep my patience and try very hard to make it through these types of waiting times without losing it and turning into a raving lunatic.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all of the health care workers out there and I know that they are all doing the best they can.  I didn’t like the person I was when I was freaking out about having to wait.  It made me feel selfish and ungrateful but at the same time I just couldn’t help it.

Tasza & Me - Top of the CN Tower,
Toronto, ON - Summer 2007

Anyway, once I finally got to see the doctor I got a few answers to some questions.  I was told to get my Arimidex prescription filled and start taking the pills every second day for a few weeks and then switching to daily doses.  This was because there are potential side effects from the Arimidex that could cause me to have severe aches and pains in my bones.  Another side effect is osteoporosis.  That just sounds peachy doesn’t it?  I was also advised to start taking Vitamin D and calcium everyday to keep my bones strong and healthy.  The doctor also told me that I should continue weight bearing exercises for the rest of my life.
I was starting to see how this cancer thing was changing me in so very many ways. Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer