Pearl

LATEST ARTICLES ( 713 )

• Dolly Channels Her Energy

  Dolly Gee Squeakers, formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers, having lost her rent money in a regrettable night of pull-tab revelry, has taken up a new hobby.... Read more

  Posted on 29 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• One of My Many Great Contributions; Or, Oh, So THAT'S How the Blog Got Its Name

  Until the Great Re-Org of 2009– May continued employment be with you And also with you –I was an Executive Admin. With typing skills that pushed me into... Read more

  Posted on 28 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Winter's Peepin'; Or Don't Get Too Comfortable

  I’m worried about the weather. Frankly, it’s nice out. And this is why I’m worried. You see, it’s even more than nice – it’s beautiful. Temperatures have been... Read more

  Posted on 27 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I'll Need You to Rebel in an Orderly and Dignified Fashion

  From February of 2012, whilst I prepare for the spicy debauchery of Chiloween with Molly and Erin this Saturday. What's that? What's 'Chiloween'? Oh, honey, jus... Read more

  Posted on 24 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Unexpected Company, 1970; Or The Man on the Couch

  Because there are new readers -- and because, dagnabit, I'm unreasonably busy at the moment -- a post from last year (and the year before), wherein I recount th... Read more

  Posted on 23 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Well It’s Just a Good Thing I’m Here, That’s All I’m Saying

  I hate to brag – despite being the possessor of an “innie”, all my own toes, and a bank account numbering in the tens – but I recently saved the life of a... Read more

  Posted on 22 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Bus Stop: 24th and Nicollet; Or Turns Out, I Look Pretty Suspicious

  Sometimes, nothing happens. And sometimes, it seems that everything happens at once. For the next several Fridays, I’m going to be posting on my recent time at ... Read more

  Posted on 17 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Shhh. Everyone Will Want One.

  The Sturgis Motorcycle Run was a good couple months ago, but still... Ring! Ring-ring! “Good morn – aftern – um, morning. This is Pearl.” There is laughter on... Read more

  Posted on 16 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• “It” Was on TV

  It is 1990. My hair is huge; my car gets 14 miles to the gallon; and thas a remote control in the shape of the 14 miles to the gallon, and t my neck. Read more

  Posted on 15 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Guy on Ninth

  The guy on 9th and Nicollet looks at me. “The world is getting louder,” he says. “In all kinds of ways. “ And I know exactly what he means. It’s not just the... Read more

  Posted on 14 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Mary Thinks I Should Go Lay Down

  I had meant to write about the weekend, the serving job, Mary’s ridiculously large truck and her parking prowess. But all I can think about is how sick I am. Read more

  Posted on 13 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• We Must Treat the Kitties Equally

  I found her perched atop the dining room door. “I thought we discussed this last year,” I say. Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, grins. “One can see s... Read more

  Posted on 10 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hey, I Like a Good Rule as Much as the Next Guy...

  Like the bulk of us early-morning commuters, he gets on at the same place every day. He boards the bus, arms outstretched: one hand showing his ID, the other... Read more

  Posted on 09 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Would You Believe I Have a Whole Section of the Blog Devoted to Pants?

  It’s a flurry of excitement, here at Casa de Pearl, as I ready myself for another foray into black-pantsed-and-white-shirted encounters of the catering kind. Read more

  Posted on 08 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Bus Stop, 24th and Nicollet; Or No, How YOU Doin'?

  

  I am waiting for the bus. Bright fall evening, corner of Nicollet and 24th. McDonald’s is at my back; the lights on Nicollet are a stone’s throw in front of me. Read more

  Posted on 07 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Was Complaining , But Then I Got to Thinking About Gravy

  There was nothing to do Sunday but turn the heat on. I gave it a good run – it is mid-October, after all – but did not break last year’s record. It’s not like... Read more

  Posted on 06 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• And Don't Forget to Tune in Tomorrow, Where Pearl Makes Pithy Observations...

  Just like that, and in a fashion true to Minnesota and her inconsistencies, the weather has made me a liar. I spoke yesterday – to anyone who would listen,... Read more

  Posted on 03 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Got Yer List Right Here

  As one might imagine, I’m a list maker. Not only does this give me clear indication of what’s expected of me, but I get the satisfaction of checking off the... Read more

  Posted on 01 October 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Your Pace Or Mine?

  No one ever looks up. At least that’s how it appears. I reflect on this knowledge, knowledge I’ve gleaned over the last decade or so since installing myself,... Read more

  Posted on 30 September 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Step Right Up, Little Lady!

  There are a number of things that I’ve discovered I cannot do. For instance, I cannot do percentages. Honestly, I think I was sick that day. Read more

  Posted on 29 September 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION