Pearl

LATEST ARTICLES ( 713 )

• This is How Rich People's Teeth Feel

  It's old news, but I have been dreadfully sick since Wednesday. :-( I'll be back just as soon as I can sit up without seeing spots before my eyes... Please enjo... Read more

  Posted on 16 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hey There, Fuzzy

  “Hey, Stinky.”“What up, Stumpy?”I’ve called Mary early this morning – too early, apparently, for us to be concerned with calling each other by our real names. Read more

  Posted on 15 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Rub A Little Dirt On It

  Despite their belief that doctors were necessary only in the face of unstoppable bleeding or the inability to draw breath, my parents weren’t bad people.Cheap,... Read more

  Posted on 14 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part III/Finale: Good Night, My Glove, Sleep Tight

  The culminating frustration of the last few months met half way up and half way down the staircase last evening in an emotional hand-clasp that made the picture... Read more

  Posted on 13 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part II: It's a Cold Time to Be Alone; Or Love in the Time of Collars-Up

  

  In a move that has stunned Minneapolis neighborhoods, area organization Gloves Without Partners has congregated in what many perceive to be the first real... Read more

  Posted on 12 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part One: Local Woman Discovers Reason to Go On

  

  A night of serving at Nye's Polanaise and more shoveling than one mayest jiggle a twig in the direction of and this gal found herself without the time to write. Read more

  Posted on 11 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Call Me Again When You Get Her to the Car

  I check the clock next to the bed: 12:40. I consider, reconsider, then answer the phone anyway.“Hello?”“You haffa come up here.”“What?”“Come up here. I need... Read more

  Posted on 10 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I'll Need You to Enunciate

  There’s something wrong with my ears.“Yew shoulda seed gordin puffinuntin thuther day.”What?!This has been going on for a while now, this need to say “huh?” in... Read more

  Posted on 09 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• And It Only Cost Four Dollars

  I am traveling back in time. I am sitting, as patiently as I am able, white-stockinged legs jutting out before me. There will be black patent shoes later,... Read more

  Posted on 08 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• A Friend in Need

  No one wants to get locked out of the house.And that goes double in February in Minneapolis.My landlord had let me know, of course, that he and a housing... Read more

  Posted on 07 February 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• The Devious Elderly; Or Oh, She Knows What She’s Doing

  Whatever the woman across the room did for a living in her younger years, she now appears to be working as a geriatric call girl.I nudge Peg in the ribs, lift m... Read more

  Posted on 06 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• February in Minneapolis: We’re Gettin’ Hysterical Up in Here

  It is four degrees outside.And there is a pair of flip-flops in one of the cubicles lining the yoga studio wall.“This,” I say to Mary, later, “is what makes me... Read more

  Posted on 05 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I'm Not a Flake. I'm Sensitive.

  Guess whose boy and his gal bought their first house this weekend? That's right -- mine! Now guess who didn't write last night so she could help them clean?... Read more

  Posted on 04 February 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Know What You’re Saying…

  “Maryna, baby, tell Pearlwhat “OMG” means.”Maryna, a dark-eyed and sophisticated émigré from Kiev, a woman who delights in letting neither your glass nor your... Read more

  Posted on 03 February 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• And Now, I Doubt Your Sincerity

  Still working over time, so I hope you enjoy a little something from February of 2011...I spend a lot of time thinking about social norms, about the fact that... Read more

  Posted on 02 February 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Hey. You Got Any Quarters?

  If you were around Minneapolis in the early 80s, then you were here in time for the arrival of the Hmong.The Hmong, AKA the Boat People, came to us out of Viet... Read more

  Posted on 01 February 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• It's Not the Years, It's the Body Damage

  We bought a 14 year-old car last summer. It’s nothing exciting, more of what we call a “grocery-getter”. It’s a small car, a humble car. Read more

  Posted on 31 January 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Side Effects Are What’ll Get Ya

  I was recently on the receiving end of a dose of antibiotics.I will be forever grateful.But prescription drugs come with extras. “Avoid Direct Sunlight.” “May... Read more

  Posted on 30 January 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Holy Crap! Run for Your Life!!

  I have overtime available to me for the next few weeks and may not have time to write. Nevertheless, I found a little something from 2009... Enjoy.The drive-in... Read more

  Posted on 29 January 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• We'll Move Down South

  A hangover and a nice, steady snowfall kept me busy yesterday. Please accept this re-post from 2010. The escalators just inside The City Center weren’t running... Read more

  Posted on 28 January 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION