Pearl

LATEST ARTICLES ( 713 )

• This Explains Why I've Been Finding Phone Books in the Driver's Seat

  You know, I’ve been riding the bus on a regular basis – and every now and then on an irregular basis, if ya know what I mean – for almost eleven years now. Read more

  Posted on 16 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Oddly Enough, It's Not the Only Story I Have Where Someone Jumps on Someone...

  

  A re-post. Liza Bean Bitey's Skyped message to the wedding party at the Greenlight Group's charitable event "Bad Wedding Reception" has kept me quite busy. Read more

  Posted on 15 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Ladies and Gentlemen! The Fabulous Musical Mimer!

  The man at the front of the bus – the one that just got on? – would like you to know that he plays all the instruments.All of them!Look at him up there, this... Read more

  Posted on 14 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• One of the Many Things I Think About

  I take the Number 18 bus when I go to see George; and just as one neighborhood is different from another, one bus line is not the same as the next.The 18 is... Read more

  Posted on 13 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Going Down! Or Look Out, Tamra’s Got a Bus to Catch!

  Tamra’s inability to leave her desk on time causes her to run to the elevator and park on the buttons.I tag along, just because I find it amusing.The doors... Read more

  Posted on 12 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Been Dropped Off Illegally!

  The following took place almost five years ago. Every now and then, I think about it. And now, you have to, too.You’re welcome.It is 6:10 in the morning. Read more

  Posted on 11 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Everything Normal Over Here; Or, What’s With All the Ear Plugs?

  Some houses contain stacks of books.In some houses, you find mounds of cat toys. Tidy piles of receipts. Dozens of empty Fresca cans in the recycling.And in som... Read more

  Posted on 10 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Me and The Guy on Ninth

  The guy on 9th and Nicollet looks at me. “The world is getting louder,” he says. “In all kinds of ways. “I know what he means. It’s not just the sirens. Read more

  Posted on 09 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Just Keep Thinking of Those Gauchos

  Some things never go out of style. A black pencil skirt, for example. Buy a good lined skirt, try not to gain any weight, and you’re going to get a lot of use... Read more

  Posted on 08 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I'm Gonna Have to Move Those Magnets Further Up on the Fridge

  The Cat Labor Laws have been posted on the fridge.Now who do you suppose did that?Of the two cats, I just don’t believe Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the... Read more

  Posted on 07 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Street Performance is the Only Viable Form of Theatre; Or He Feels Like Wearing...

  I have been at the party all day.“… and I think of you every time I see him.”I blink. Lisa is talking.I like Lisa. She is what is right with the neighborhood:... Read more

  Posted on 06 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Tales from the Sleepless; Or Have You Always Looked Like That?

  It appears that I’ve given up sleeping.And I used to be such a fan.I take a prescription sleep-aid, of course. What middle-aged American female doesn’t? And so ... Read more

  Posted on 05 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Better Late Than Never

  I am late for my hair appointment. And there goes the bus…I have missed it.The heat wave that had recently engulfed Minneapolis has taken a break, just long... Read more

  Posted on 04 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Summer Sings Into Fall

  I actually wrote about my near-death experience this weekend -- and now cannot find it! Please enjoy a re-post from September of 2011 whilst I dig through my... Read more

  Posted on 03 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part Two: When You're Desperate for Work...

  Yesterday's post was Part I. If you haven't read it, go ahead and do that now. I'll run for coffee and meet you back here in five...Kevin dropped the van off... Read more

  Posted on 02 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part One: When You're Desperate for Work

  For your amusement and possible re-living -- DuWayne? Are you out there? -- I bring to you a subject on which I am something of an expert: the many ways in whic... Read more

  Posted on 01 September 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• At No Time Did the Bus Driver Attempt to Run Him Over

  What’s with the bus stories?! It is 6:40. I have had a successful day so far in that I have managed to dress myself, negotiate the flight of stairs to street... Read more

  Posted on 30 August 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Late Afternoon Minneapolis; Or Who WAS That Dapper Young Man?

  It is 96 degrees outside, the humidity firmly anchored amongst numbers considered “tropical”. The heat rises from the sidewalk in wavy stink lines, seemingly... Read more

  Posted on 29 August 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Remind Me of This in February; Or Don’t Make Me Write About Swamp Butt Again!

  I am, I fear, only hours away from either bursting into hot, public tears, or from active hallucinations.Honestly, I can’t tell which one I’m rooting for. They... Read more

  Posted on 28 August 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• And Now, A Word from Your Human Resource Department

  Hello, and welcome to the Quarterly State of the Business Meeting of Acme Napkins and Grommets, a wholly owned subsidiary of the World-Wide Octopus Corporation. Read more

  Posted on 27 August 2013 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION