Pearl

LATEST ARTICLES ( 713 )

• Og Laugh at Your Societal Expectations

  Like many in the urban jungle, I regularly seek the counsel of my inner caveman. The caveman: multi-family housing dweller, a man/woman who shared spaces, no... Read more

  Posted on 28 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Just Where Are You Lookin’, Buddy?

  The man on the corner of 9th and Nicollet is standing on an overturned milk crate. What is probably a bible of some sort is held, overhead, with one hand while... Read more

  Posted on 27 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• What’s Wrong with Room-Temperature Gin?

  Some people buy tools. Others buy shoes.I buy books.My sister is staring at the stacks of them on the floor of the living room.“What?” I say.She picks one up. Read more

  Posted on 26 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Oh, Honey. I Hear Ya.

  The women sitting directly across from me are working their way toward indignant.Sharp-eyed and sharp-tongued, encased in large, parka-like coats, they have... Read more

  Posted on 25 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Wherein I Suffer for a Good Cause

  

  SNO Ball – the Sheridan Neighborhood Organization Ball, that is – was held this last Saturday, a benefit held to raise money to supply take-home school lunches... Read more

  Posted on 24 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• They Don't Make Just ANYone Wood Tick Inspector

  We received another six inches of snow last night -- and of course, I delved further into my bag of let's-just-think-about-summer tricks... Read more

  Posted on 21 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Bus Stop on a Summer's Day; Or Puff-Puff-Give!

  Meanwhile, somewhere in the heart of a snow-encrusted Minneapolis, a lone woman, thoughtfully bug-eyed with distraction at the new operating system installed... Read more

  Posted on 20 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• No One Asked Me; Or I Demand That We All Slow Down

  We’ve a new operating system at work. And as with all other major changes, Acme Grommets and Gravel, a Worldwide Octopus Company, has adopted the “what doesn’t... Read more

  Posted on 19 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• That's a Lot of Junk in Your Trunk

  Have you winterized your car yet?Oh, sure. Everyone knows about winter-weight oil, about checking your tires and replacing your windshield wipers; but have you... Read more

  Posted on 18 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• I’ll Be Here, Breathing Through My Mouth

  You should see me when I’m sick.If you’re into people who lose their train of thought and gaze off into space, say “what?” a lot, and can’t be trusted to run... Read more

  Posted on 17 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part Five and Finale: A Night at The Nip and The Saucer

  A five-parter! Pearl, have you lost your mind? Yes.Parts One, Two, Three, and Four are available through the links.Enjoy.Liza Bean Bitey, a small, clever... Read more

  Posted on 14 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part Four: A Night at The Nip and The Saucer

  Part Four of the story! Parts One, Two, and Three are available -- why not go there and catch up? I'll just straighten up a bit until you get back... Read more

  Posted on 13 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part Three: A Night at The Nip and The Saucer

  Today: Part Three. Have you read One and Two? Well why not?! Scoot back there, we'll wait here, and I'll have coffee ready by the time you get back.Go on... Read more

  Posted on 12 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part Two: A Night at The Nip and The Saucer

  Did you read part one, posted yesterday? Less than 500 words, shouldn’t take too long. Go ahead, slide over to yesterday. We’ll wait here. Ooooh, and if you... Read more

  Posted on 11 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Part One: The Cat Looks Suspiciously Pleased with Herself

  The cat, uncharacteristically, is at the landing near the top of the stairs when I come through the front door.“What’s going on?” I say. “Why do you look like... Read more

  Posted on 10 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Sleep. SLEEEEEEEEP.

  You may not know this to look at me, but at one point I was capable of sleeping well into the early afternoon.O, how I miss those days. Read more

  Posted on 07 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• A Brief Yet Vital Encounter

  The sky outside my 48th floor window is white. White and gray, and, if we’re optimistic or, perhaps, a bit drunk, it can be argued that there’s a shade of blue... Read more

  Posted on 06 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• When You're Rich Beyond Dollar Signs

  

  A re-post. Neither Mary nor I smoke anymore, but I'd almost forgotten about the day that John replaced their front door...“I just want you to know,” she says,... Read more

  Posted on 05 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Whatcha Eatin'?

  My sister and I used to live together, somewhere in our early-30s. It was a damn good time; and when our sons were away on the weekends, as sometimes happened,... Read more

  Posted on 04 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Another Way We’ve Failed Our Children; Or Cavi-Tease

  She started as an intern. Tall and slender, invisibly pored skin like velvet spring, Kara is what is right with the next generation of office workers: she learn... Read more

  Posted on 03 February 2014 HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION