Markkaplowitz

LATEST ARTICLES ( 128 )

• The Rosh Hashanah Post

  Sundown on Wednesday brings the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah – the Jewish New Year.  In Hebrew, “rosh” means “head” and “hashanah” means “the year” – so... Read more

  Posted on 03 September 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Could Twerk and Not Cause a Worldwide Scandal?

  I was setting the table, trying to decide whether to fold the napkins in the shape of a rectangle or a triangle, when my wife came home from work.“Hi honey!” I... Read more

  Posted on 28 August 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Restaurant Service in France Was Gruff?

  Paris is apparently making an effort to make its restaurant staff more polite. It reminded me of the trip my wife and I took to Paris last year. Read more

  Posted on 26 August 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• The Private Universe of Shopping Carts

  Did you ever notice how a shopping cart in any place other than a supermarket or a supermarket parking lot looks extremely out of place and even a little... Read more

  Posted on 25 August 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Stores Couldn’t Track You Within the Store?

  

  I met a traveler from an antique land who said, “I read an article in the New York Times about how stores are now using their unwitting customers’ cell phone... Read more

  Posted on 18 July 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Luggage Didn’t Have Wheels?

  

  My friend wanted me to come over to his house because he had invented a time machine and wanted me to try it out.  I asked him if he wanted me to bring over som... Read more

  Posted on 28 June 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Needed a Cell Phone to Record Someone in Public?

  

  The good folks over at Google have invented something truly spectacular—a pair of eyeglasses with a small computer screen mounted on one of the lenses so that... Read more

  Posted on 10 May 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Didn’t Have to Create a Profile Everywhere You Go?

  There is a support group for people who sign up for too many online profiles.  The group meets once a week in the basement of an old church.  I went to last... Read more

  Posted on 30 April 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Spring?

  

  “Ah, spring!” I said as I swung my legs out of bed, opened the window, and was hit with a blast of bitter arctic air in the face, exacerbating the dryness... Read more

  Posted on 22 March 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When There Was No Pope?

  

  When I was a boy I decided that I wanted to be the pope. To show my enthusiasm, I pretended to play the part for a while. I locked myself in my room, and when m... Read more

  Posted on 14 March 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Smartphone Protectors Weren’t A Cottage Industry?

  A few weeks ago I did my patriotic duty and upgraded to an iPhone 5. At a third of an inch shorter and nearly one ounce heavier, my iPhone 4 was like something... Read more

  Posted on 28 February 2013 HUMOR

• Remember When the Toilet Worked, Part I?

  I know I haven’t blogged in a while. I’m working on a book – my first – and just coming up with the right approach has taken up all my writing juice for the pas... Read more

  Posted on 18 January 2013 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Football Was Dangerous?

  The head coach watched the film from the previous week’s game and he didn’t like what he saw.“The defense is soft,” he said to his defensive coordinator, who wa... Read more

  Posted on 12 December 2012 FOOTBALL, HUMOR, SATIRE, SPORTS

• Remember When You Had Never Heard of a Fiscal Cliff?

  

  To thank you all, who have stuck with me through this, my 150th post, I thought I would tackle a serious topic for a change. -MKIt was cold in Washington, D.C. Read more

  Posted on 02 December 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Twinkies?

  The archaeologists were done for the day.  It was getting dark and Happy Hour at the Drunken Pick Axe lasted just until 7:00 p.m. Read more

  Posted on 25 November 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Black Friday Took Place on Friday?

  The young nation was divided.  The Black Friday purists who insisted on Black Friday sales not starting until the morning of Black Friday had been unable—or... Read more

  Posted on 16 November 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Election Night?

  I’m watching a flat screen television, and on the flat screen television is another flat screen television that shows an image of all the states. Read more

  Posted on 09 November 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Life Before Catastrophic Hurricanes?

  It was Sunday morning and I was looking forward to drinking coffee from my “We Are Happy to Serve You” cup. The design is the same as the paper cups that are... Read more

  Posted on 02 November 2012 DIARIES, HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION

• Remember When Interest Rates Were Positive?

  “There’s got to be something we can do to get this economy rolling.”“There isn’t, sir. We’ve taken interest rates as low as they can go.”“Don’t use ‘they’ to... Read more

  Posted on 26 October 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Debates Involved Debating?

  When I was in ninth grade and it was announced that we were going to attend a debate by the two candidates for class president, I was surprised to hear that we... Read more

  Posted on 19 October 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE