Markkaplowitz

LATEST ARTICLES ( 128 )

• Remember When You Could Eat Inside a Restaurant?

  

  "Curbside pickup only" said the warning at the top of the online menu. It was our favorite restaurant, and I had many cherished memories of enjoying fine meals... Read more

  Posted on 06 July 2020 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When People Kept Grain in Grain Silos?

  

  Franklin “Frank” Ferple III, president of the Ferple Happy Homes Development Company, was sitting in his large oak-paneled office, behind his large oak desk,... Read more

  Posted on 09 January 2019 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Weren’t Asked to Rate Every Experience?

  Last week I bought a hamburger and fries from a restaurant using its online ordering system. This way I could pick the food up directly at the register without... Read more

  Posted on 30 April 2018 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Live Entertainment Was the Only Entertainment?

  Our 55 inch television (which is really 54.6 inches, but under the Supreme Court’s 1983 decision in Accuracy v. Simplicity, the decimal point gets rounded up)... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2018 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Retail Stores?

  It was my first year as president of a major electronics retailer facing a serious financial crisis.Photo by DMedina at Morguefile. Read more

  Posted on 30 January 2018 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Retail Stores?

  It was my first year as president of a major electronics retailer facing a serious financial crisis. "Decker, get in here," I called to the closest analyst who... Read more

  Posted on 30 January 2018 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember That Mysterious Space Object?

  Remember that strange elongated object hurtling through our Solar System from another star? The object – named ’Oumuamua for easy reference – that was so strang... Read more

  Posted on 14 January 2018 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember That Mysterious Space Object?

  Remember that strange elongated object hurtling through our Solar System from another star? The object - named 'Oumuamua for easy reference - that was so... Read more

  Posted on 14 January 2018 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When We Didn’t Need A Planetary Protection Officer?

  When I saw NASA's advertisement for "Planetary Protection Officer," I knew that it was the job for me. I have always been concerned about interplanetary... Read more

  Posted on 10 August 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• My Slogan Was Published In the New York Times!

  Two weeks ago, Senator Chuck Schumer announced the Democrats’ new slogan:  A Better DealAnd my first thought was:  “Surely they can do better than that. Read more

  Posted on 06 August 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• My Slogan Was Published In the New York Times!

  Two weeks ago, Senator Chuck Schumer announced the Democrats' new slogan: A Better Deal And my first thought was: "Surely they can do better than that." So... Read more

  Posted on 06 August 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When We All Had Chips Surgically Implanted?

  When my employer approached me about surgically implanting a microchip in my hand so that I could get into the office without having to take out my key fob, I... Read more

  Posted on 02 August 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When We All Had Chips Surgically Implanted?

  I'm sure you've heard by now about the technology company in Wisconsin that is giving its employees the option of having a microchip surgically implanted in... Read more

  Posted on 02 August 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Could Vote to Leave the European Union and Not Regret It?

  Two weeks ago the United Kingdom voted in a referendum to leave the European Union.  It was a close vote and was based on a lot of false claims and promises tha... Read more

  Posted on 10 July 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Everyone Wasn’t in Contact With the Russians?

  First it was reported that the National Security Adviser had discussed sanctions against Russia with the Russian ambassador.  Then it turned out that the... Read more

  Posted on 29 May 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Everyone Wasn’t in Contact With the Russians?

  First it was reported that the National Security Adviser had discussed sanctions against Russia with the Russian ambassador. Then it turned out that the... Read more

  Posted on 29 May 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Antarctica Wasn’t Falling Apart?

  There was no denying it. Antarctica was falling apart, crumbling like a ball of dried out play dough. The scientists took photographs and measurements and... Read more

  Posted on 21 May 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Could Fire the FBI Director Without Getting a Lot of Flak?

  So the President has fired the FBI Director. I'm surprised it took this long. Maybe the FBI Director owed the President money for a lost bet, and the Presiden... Read more

  Posted on 14 May 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When the President Lived at the White House?

  It was nearly 100 days into his presidency, and Donald Trump had spent half of his weekends as president at a private resort in Florida. There, in addition to... Read more

  Posted on 27 April 2017 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When It Seemed Like Christmas Was Far Away?

  Remember when you were in school, and it seemed like the month of December that was after Thanksgiving but before the beginning of Christmas break, took an... Read more

  Posted on 01 December 2016 HUMOR, SATIRE