Katie Hoffman

LATEST ARTICLES ( 240 )

• The Desolation of Shopping at The Sh*tty Teen Store

  

  Sometimes circumstances force you to attempt shopping at the Shitty Teen Store as an adult, and it’s every bit as sorrowful and infuriating as it was when you... Read more

  Posted on 29 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Wigging Out About Wigs

  

  My boyfriend Mike thinks everyone is wearing a wig.Okay, maybe everyone is an exaggeration, but:Included in this alleged wig society of Mike’s imagination?... Read more

  Posted on 26 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Most Disgusting Fall Food

  Today I’m posting at Long Awkward Pause to reveal the most disgusting food fall has to offer… You might be surprised to learn it doesn’t involve pumpkin spice. Read more

  Posted on 25 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Feeling Feelings About Fall

  

  During the past few years, fall stopped being the detested thoroughfare to winter and has established itself as a cult favorite in the arena of seasons. Read more

  Posted on 23 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• It’s A Small World After All

  Yesterday I solved a The Great Recognizable Downstairs Neighbor Mystery, and it lifted an enormous weight that’s been on my shoulders since 2012 when I started... Read more

  Posted on 19 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Maybe Pretty Hurts Beyonce, Too

  

  Beyoncé made me mad yesterday, and not because for some reason siding with her fervent “Beyhive” of fans or shunning her elevator antics has become seemingly... Read more

  Posted on 18 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• 20 Things All Dog Owners Know To Be True

  I love my dog as much as the next person, but owning a dog isn’t always glamorous (as, say, owning a cat?). If you have a dog, you can probably confirm these... Read more

  Posted on 16 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Think I Got Shaded On Instagram

  

  I also may not be using “shade” correctly in its verb form.I’m not sure when or why it happened, but “throwing shade” has become a colloquial way of saying... Read more

  Posted on 12 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Everything You Need to Know About iPhone 6

  

  On September 9, 2014, Apple unveiled iPhone 6—the latest tech toy that will be appearing on Christmas lists and delaying child support payments for the... Read more

  Posted on 10 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• 16 Times You Never Want Anyone Talking To You

  

  Talking to people can be pleasant and enlightening, but not in these sixteen circumstances.1. When you’re in the public restroom. Read more

  Posted on 09 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Saw My Cat’s Penis for the First Time

  

  And it was as awkward and uncomfortable as it is seeing anyone else’s penis for the first time on accident.I’ve never been the type to actually want to go place... Read more

  Posted on 05 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Rediscovering My Carpet Dents

  And it might just be my lady hormones talking, but when you’re engulfed by a PMS-provoked volcanic eruption of emotion, it’s hard to discern what’s reality and... Read more

  Posted on 03 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• August in Review

  

  You can see more of my random (read: bad) Instagrams by following @katienotholmes. Read more

  Posted on 02 September 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• 10 Bittersweet Reasons To Actually Miss Going Back To School

  

  1. Even though it meant the end of beach days and sleeping in, school was the definitive start of something. Time in the “real world” has a way of running... Read more

  Posted on 27 August 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• 8 Times It’s Totally Okay To Be Unapologetically Selfish

  

  When someone touches your radio while you’re driving. You’re entitled to threaten someone with physical bodily harm if they touch your radio while you’re... Read more

  Posted on 22 August 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Ice Bucket Challenge is Dumb (But ALS Isn’t)

  I don’t like being the dissenter, the party pooper, or the person who sees a bandwagon coming and gives it the middle finger, but sometimes I just can’t help... Read more

  Posted on 19 August 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Gracias (Translation: I Hate You)

  I’ve endured years of uninteresting conversations searching for meaning in all the banality. Recently, I finally experienced an eye-opening epiphany that’s... Read more

  Posted on 15 August 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• What Writing a Book is Like

  

  Writing a book is like the opening of 8 Mile when Eminem’s doing all these rap gestures in the bathroom mirror while he mentally prepares for this huge battle,... Read more

  Posted on 14 August 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• 20 Flavor Suggestions for Lay’s Potato Chips

  

  Lay’s potato chips used to be one of my staple junk foods, and the reason for their success isn’t their company name’s likeness to Jays (a lesser potato chip... Read more

  Posted on 12 August 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Thinking About Seeing Guardians of the Galaxy?

  So maybe you’ve been weighing the merits of seeing Guardians of the Galaxy in theaters. On one hand, cheesy superhero comic book stuff… on the other: Chris... Read more

  Posted on 07 August 2014 HUMOR, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION