Dianelaneyfitzpatrick

LATEST ARTICLES ( 307 )

• Leaning Toward Cleaning

  

  Five years ago, I blogged that I didn’t do much spring cleaning because around the time that other people would notice that their walls needed to be washed and... Read more

  Posted on 15 April 2014 HUMOR

• My Madcap Summer as a Candy Striper

  

  When I was in seventh grade, my friend Lisa and I were Candy Stripers at North Side Hospital in Youngstown, the same hospital where I was born. Read more

  Posted on 08 April 2014 HUMOR

• Oil Pulling: 20 Minutes is a Long Time

  

  I’m not saying that oil pulling isn’t for me. I’m saying I’ll do what I always do and try it but with shortcuts and little enthusiasm, cutting off time and... Read more

  Posted on 01 April 2014 HUMOR

• E-Harmonize With Someone Your Own Age

  

  I probably have no business broaching this subject, since the last “first date” I was on was with a veterinarian in Coshocton, Ohio, in 1981. Read more

  Posted on 25 March 2014 HUMOR

• Baby, It’s Cold Over There

  

  My husband and I have been wanting to go to an art museum to see a Georgia O’Keeffe exhibit, but we keep opting to do things outdoors instead, because the... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2014 HUMOR

• Unfashionably Late

  

  When I was growing up, we were always late. We were late to church almost every Sunday, including on my Confirmation, when I ran in through the double doors jus... Read more

  Posted on 11 March 2014 HUMOR

• I, Too, Feel Bad About My Neck

  

  I hope I’m not plagiarizing Nora Ephron, but I’m a firm believer that mimicry is the most adorable form of flattery and I need all the help I can get. Especiall... Read more

  Posted on 04 March 2014 HUMOR

• Competing in the Pink Eye Event

  

  I’m one of those people who only watches the Olympics to see the ice dancers get pushed to the brink and plot each others’ kneecap injuries. Read more

  Posted on 25 February 2014 HUMOR

• A Writer’s Nerdist Colony

  

  I spent the past four days at a writers’ conference and I feel like I just left church camp with a bunch of friendship bracelets. Read more

  Posted on 18 February 2014 HUMOR

• Reuse, Recycle, Re-diculous

  

  My friend Lynn put a question to my “Home Sweet Homes” readers and it was this: What can I do to repurpose old trophies? The silence was deafening. Read more

  Posted on 11 February 2014 HUMOR

• Advanced Facebook for Old People: 2014 Edition

  

  Things are changing rapidly in Facebook world, and the monster is almost unrecognizable to what was first opened up to old people in 2008.  Remember Shrute... Read more

  Posted on 04 February 2014 HUMOR

• About as Funny as a Root Canal

  

  Throughout my adult life I’ve lived a charmed existence when it comes to dental work. When I was in my 20s I had a few fillings. In my 30s I had a crown, a... Read more

  Posted on 27 January 2014 HUMOR

• Three Surprising Reasons Why I’m Happy in the City

  

  Don’t be surprised. I’m more adaptable and more cheerfully resigned – not to mention adventurous – than the average small town suburban girl. I take after my... Read more

  Posted on 21 January 2014 HUMOR

• My Haunted House, Featuring The Little Indian Boy

  

  I’ve lived in lots of different kinds of houses – nearly everything except a trailer and a castle – but I bet you didn’t know that I lived in a haunted house,... Read more

  Posted on 14 January 2014 HUMOR

• Answering to a Hire Authority

  

  As a self-appointed queen of moving, I know all the tricks. What I haven’t experienced in  my own eventful 16+ moves, I heard and read about other people’s... Read more

  Posted on 07 January 2014 HUMOR

• Microwave, You’ve Been Nuked

  

  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’ve come full circle with the microwave. That kitchen appliance that was so Jane Jetson in 1983, the thing in your... Read more

  Posted on 01 January 2014 HUMOR

• Putting the Ar! Back in Christmas Cards

  

  This is going to be short because like all of you, I’m buried alive in ho-ho-holiday red (and green) tape. When I sit down to write, my computer defaults to... Read more

  Posted on 17 December 2013 HUMOR

• O Artificial Christmas Tree

  

  I’d like to say that I was bullied, bribed or blackmailed into getting an artificial tree again this year, but the truth is: I forgot. Read more

  Posted on 10 December 2013 HUMOR

• Thanksgiving Leftovers

  

  Happy belated Thanksgiving, to all of you who celebrate. Even though Thanksgiving is one of those phenomena that no one wants to hear/read/talk about the... Read more

  Posted on 05 December 2013 HUMOR

• The Nose Know a Home

  Every house has a smell and there’s not much a homeowner can do about it. You can cook garlic meatballs every day for a year and, sure, your house will smell... Read more

  Posted on 29 November 2013 HUMOR