Brute Reason

LATEST ARTICLES ( 570 )

• “He Was Acting Creepy, but She Seemed Okay with It…”

  [Content note: sexual harassment and assault]This is something I hear from guys a lot–they’ve witnessed another guy in their space or social group acting in a... Read more

  Posted on 25 October 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Deconstructing Jealousy

  Note: This is written from my perspective as someone who practices polyamory from a non-hierarchical perspective, so my personal examples are grounded in that... Read more

  Posted on 19 October 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• You’re Not Entitled to Friendship: Further Complicating the “Nice Guy” Concept

  Read first: “Having Feelings About Rejection Doesn’t Make You a ‘Nice Guy.’“Alex and Sam are friends. At some point, Alex realizes they have a crush on Sam. Read more

  Posted on 09 October 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Why Would Men Fear Women With High Sex Drives?

  There’s a study going around online about how men in relationships with women get worried if their partner is “too horny.” The actual study, it appears, is... Read more

  Posted on 29 September 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Some Totally Unsolicited Advice About Forum Moderation

  If you moderate any sort of online forum, I have a suggestion for you: ban all snarking about “well if you’d bothered to search the forum before posting you... Read more

  Posted on 17 September 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• How To Feel Better About Ending Relationships

  At Everyday Feminism, I wrote about ending relationships:The hardest breakups I’ve gone through have been the ones I’ve had to initiate myself. Read more

  Posted on 17 September 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• The Collective Gaslighting of the Trigger Warning Debate

  I consider emotions to be a valuable source of information. When I noticed that I was getting much more emotional about the trigger warning debate than about... Read more

  Posted on 14 September 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• What Do College Administrations and Crappy Poly Couples Have in Common? Not...

  Now that we’re deep in the latest irritating round of internet hand-wringing over college students and their political correctness, I’m watching again this... Read more

  Posted on 31 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• 10 Things Sex Positivity Is Not

  Over at Everyday Feminism, I wrote a piece defining sex positivity by what it isn’t.Put two feminists in a room together and you’ll have three definitions of th... Read more

  Posted on 25 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Abusers Don’t Abuse Everyone

  [Content note: sexual harassment, assault, and abuse]If you’ve hung around in poly communities* for a while, you’ve probably seen this dynamic:A man (or, very... Read more

  Posted on 21 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• [book Club] Brideshead Revisited: Chapter One

  

  I’m doing a book club! Read my other posts about Brideshead Revisited here.When we last left Charles, he was a middle-aged army officer who had just arrived at... Read more

  Posted on 21 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Selfishness is a Valid Response to Entitlement and Boundary Crossing

  At first it sounded like a typical argument where my siblings are concerned.Little Brother: “[Little Sister], give me your phone.”Little Sister: “Why?”“So I... Read more

  Posted on 17 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• [book Club] Brideshead Revisited: Preface & Prologue

  

  Sidenote: did they really dress like that? If so, maybe I was a (male) student at 1920s Oxford in another life because DAMN.Remember that book club thing I... Read more

  Posted on 16 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Social Media, Mental Illness, and Vulnerability

  “Wow, uh…you’re very open online.” I still hear this from people every so often.“Yup,” I say, because I don’t assume it was meant to be a compliment.And it’s... Read more

  Posted on 15 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Thoughts on Reading Classics + Book Club!

  

  Ever since I learned to read at the relatively late age of 6, books and I have been inseparable. I’ve read 944 books since I started tracking about ten years... Read more

  Posted on 09 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• For Poly Folks Who Desperately Need Autonomy

  I recently discovered this amazing piece by Nora Samaran about relationships, gender, and autonomy that has really resonated with me and many of my friends. Go... Read more

  Posted on 04 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Are All Boundaries Valid?

  Follow-up to “Boundary Setting vs Tone Policing.”[Content note: abuse]When I discuss the importance of respecting people’s boundaries, I sometimes encounter thi... Read more

  Posted on 03 August 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• You Don’t Need Your Partner’s Agreement to Break Up With Them

  I hear some version of this very often, usually from women:“I want to break up with my partner, but they don’t want to so I guess we’re staying together for now. Read more

  Posted on 07 July 2016 WOMEN'S ISSUES

• 5 Ways to Navigate Consent with a Partner Who Has Trouble Setting Boundaries

  New Everyday Feminism piece!More than I regret any of my nos, I regret quite a few of my yeses.To this day, I don’t understand why I’ve said “yes” to some of th... Read more

  Posted on 02 July 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES

• Polyamory: Orientation Or Lifestyle Choice?

  “Is polyamory an orientation or a lifestyle choice?” is the poly-related question I get most often next to “How do I get my partner to try polyamory?” Let’s... Read more

  Posted on 01 July 2016 SOCIETY, WOMEN'S ISSUES