Diaries Magazine

Truly The Weirdest Experience of Any Server

By Blairbarnes

I worked at a popular Italian-American chain. It was about 40 minutes
to closing and I knew that the table that sat in my section in the bar
area would not be gone by closing time. It was a couple, about 30, and
they seemed a little weird. It almost seemed as though they were on an
uncomfortable first date. Well as policy requires, I offer them wine
or a drink from the bar. The lady responded with a definite no and
made a face. The guy ordered a drink and was surprised his date didn’t
want anything and tried to convince her to order one. She refused.
About 30 minutes and 3 jack and cokes later, the guy with blood shot
eyes asks if he could ask me a personal question. With a nervous laugh
I said sure. Was not prepared for the rest of the conversation!

He told me his date had just told him she was 3 months pregnant.
Slowly and tortuously, he proceeded to tell me their situation: They
had only been dating for 1 month, and the baby did not belong to him.
In fact, they had never had sex before. But he asked her to marry him
just then. What do I think? Should she say yes? He cares about her and
wants to do the right thing. !!!!!!!
All the while his date is laughing a little embarassed and at first
tried to convince him not to involve me. But after I closed my jaw and
and nervously laughed with an “I don’t know,” the girl asked me what
she should do! What would I do if I was in her situation? I told them
I don’t think that’s something I could answer for her. I tried
desperately to display that I did not want to be a part of this
conversation and tried to trail away with a polite smile. But the guy
actually reached out and pulled me back! He insisted we’ll flip the
coaster to decide if they get married, and I was going to do it for
them. I politely refused, all the while trying to laugh it off. I
finally got away for a second when my one other table needed me.
However every time I passed their table, the guy would instruct me to
come back as soon as I’m finished doing whatever. I was able to slip
by him a few times until he needed a drink. Then the conversation
actually gets weirder!

The girl asked me what I would do if a customer left me their number.
Assuming she meant a guy customer, I replied I have a boyfriend so I
would just throw it away. Then she asked if I would give it to my
boyfriend. I was very confused by this. I had no idea what she was
talking about but I just said no. She looked slyly over to her date
and said really? We do that all the time. Well then they each started
to flirt with me, asking me about my sign, telling me theirs….I
didn’t know what to make of this. I insisted I get that drink that he
wanted so I could get some relief. I told the bartender what they said
to me and told her maybe they’re trying to get me to do a threesome?
Yet they said they had never had sex with each other. ..?

Then the bartender opened my naive eyes and pointed out that they
wanted to swing! If not with me then with my boyfriend!

The evening continued in that strange manner for another few minutes
while I did my best to hide from my table. I told everything to my
manager and he said”Well you can’t neglect your table. What if they
need something that you can’t anticipate?” (He was a sexist ASS)
Finally the guy had had 6 drinks and his eyes were even more bloodshot
so I decided to cut him off and send them the fuck home. I used the
excuse that we were closing. We had BEEN closed, we’re just not
supposed to kick people out for that. On his credit card slip he left
me his number and wrote”We really enjoyed your company, thanks for
your advice.”

His $15 tip on a $45 check was not justice for the weirdest serving
experience of my life. I had someone walk me to my car to make sure
they weren’t waiting for me to take turns f*cking them.

- Jenn

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog