Something we enjoy doing each week is to pull out the quotes that we think are the best from each True Blood episode. The criteria for a quote to make our list is that the it must stand on it’s own when taken out of context.
Our BEST from the two episodes below are in “BOLD.” If you have a favorite that is not listed below, feel free to tell us your favorite in the comments below!
Eps, 1 “Jesus Gonna Be Here” – Best Quotes
Lettie Mae: They killed my Tara, they killed my baby girl.
Nizor: I’ve survived 27 times, 27. 28! Allah loves me, does your God love you?
Pam: Nope, My God fuckin’ hates me. Everyone one I love leaves, everything I touch dies, so forgive me if I don’t share your faith in my lord. Your God and my God can go to a motel and have a circle jerk for all I care. I’ll be in hell having a three way with a devil.
Nizor: Your words are hollow, I can see the love and pain in your eyes.
Sookie: It’s my fucking curse to know what people think of me always, to feel the pain and the hurt and the ugly, ugly truth, even you, even Jason and Andy and Sam and every God damn human in this town.
Jason: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, listen we are all freaked out by the Armageddon like situation that we got goin’ on here and you folks takin’ matters into your own hands, that’s just a short cut straight to the war.
Lafayette: I know that you gots to eat, but it is mother fucking mandatory that I get my brain out of this plain of existence right the fuck now. So give me a sec while I get altered, then I’ll give ya lunch.
Lafayette: Ya know, I feel relieved, how fucked up is that? I guess because I grieved the first time she died and the second time she died, I don’t feel nothin’ inside.
James: If you ask me, there’s zero point in feeling pain or fear, grief or regret. You can laugh, you can cry, you can smoke out, it doesn’t matter to Tara or the universe it makes no difference,
Lafayette: You’re one metaphysical fuck!
Hep V Vampire: I’m gonna taste that little girl before I die.
Arlene: OMG, I can’t die down here, I’ve got kids.
Andy: I saved your miserable hide because I need your help to get Arlene and Holly back, but we are not good we will never be good ain’t nothin’ in this world will make right what you’ve done to me and my family, so save your thanks.
Sookie: I lived in Bon Temps my whole life and I love this town and I’ve known all of you my whole life. And even though most of you hate me, I love most of you here.
Eps. 2 – “I Found You” – Best Quotes
Eric: You Found me.
Jason: Sometimes not being clever makes you a better detective.
Sookie: There’s a quote one of the gravestones in the cemetery, “the brutal indifference of life,” that’s true. Life don’t care how old you are or where they’re from or how good a person you’ve been, totally indifferent.
Vince: That dog turned into our mayor.
Maxine, Damn, I knew it and all this time I blamed the NyQuil.
Vince: This town’s full of vampires, has a dog for a mayor and is being preached at by a telepath.
Arlene: I mean this in the nicest kind of way, but aren’t you gonna die anyway?
Sookie: There’s no one left. They either killed or took everyone.
Vince: We’re here for the guns that are part of our second amendment rights to not be fucked over by our government.
Kenya: Don’t you try that NRA hillbilly shit on me.
Andy: If Jason’s Pizza Forensics are to be trusted, yea.
Andy: I’ve always been too much of a pussy to stick with it, but a man ain’t nothing without a family.
Alcide: Yea, you fell in love with Bill. He wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I hate to break it to you, but you fell for him the same way that every single person on the entire planet falls for their first love, hard and fast. All that makes you is, is human.
Alcide: You know, I think you like me better with a little extra stink.
Eric: You Found me.
