Family Magazine

Traumatic Mommy Moments

By Monicasmommusings @mom2natkatcj

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First day of speech
Motherhood is not for the faint at heart, that’s for sure.  You know in case you didn’t know.  Today my youngest (who turns 3 this weekend) had her first day of school.  She is in a speech class two days a week an hour and a half a day now.  And that meant leaving her there without me, something she is not use to.

I’m aware that at no time is it every easy to leave your baby, but preschoolers who have not been in any sort of daycare for years are really difficult to drop off.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware of the difficulty of dropping your newborn off to someone to take care of.  I went back to work after my oldest was 6 weeks old and left her with my sister in law.  Leaving her every day was so hard that I only lasted a month before I decided I had to become a SAHM.

But none the less, leaving our children at some point in time on a regular basis does become necessary.  As I said in my post earlier this week it’s all part of letting go.  The circle of life and I know good things will come even out of the bad.  And today was about as bad as it gets in the area of leaving your child.  My not quite 3 yet year old daughter cried the entire hour and a half she was at school.  I literally had to run out the door and I could still hear her screaming through two closed doors as they carried her to the classroom.  I sat in my car and cried, texted my husband at work, and chatted with some friends with social media before I headed off to the store to buy her birthday present.  And I came back to the school to pick up a little girl who was very happy to see me,but who also, I am told, has amazing stamina since she cried pretty much non stop.

She was super chatty all the way home about how she cried because she missed me.  She just doesn’t get why I can’t come to school with her.  I have been trying to build her excitement around this, but it’s just not happening.  She likes school, wants to go to school, but thinks I should be there with her.  Now I bet this will be my most independent child when she gets older, but right now she’s breaking my heart.  I know she needs this, but the mama lion in me who wants to protect her from any harm (including emotional) would really love to just pull her out of school.  And no I will not do this, yes I know it would do more harm than good, but doesn’t mean I don’t want to do that.

But as I look around on my news feed on Facebook and listen to my other mommy friends I know there are so many more traumatic mommy moments.  Ones I am glad I’m not dealing with now, but probably have dealt with, ones that I am dealing with, and things I hope I am never dealing with.

Five Traumatic Mommy Moments

  1. A sick child.   Of course nothing could ever compare to a terminally ill child, but I think we all know the wish that we could take away any pain and suffering our children experience.  When my middle daughter likely had mono a few weeks ago I felt awful that there was no quick fix for her pain.  If only it had been strep, they could have given her antibiotics and she would have been feeling much better the next day.  That wasn’t the case though and I only had to deal with that a week.  I couldn’t imagine a chronically or terminally ill child.  Those mothers are my heroes.
  2. Problems with school.  This encompasses a lot of different things.  Whether your child is struggling with his or her grades or a particular teacher or she has an entire school system that isn’t providing her needs.  Advocating for your child in education can be very difficult.  It’s traumatizing in some instances too when you are watching your child slip further and further behind and the school isn’t listening to you.  It can make you feel extremely helpless.
  3. Bullies.  I’m not sure there’s anything worse than a punk kid picking on your own child and not being able to put the fear of God into that child. You know because apparently adults threatening children is frowned upon.
  4. A missing child.  I have only ever lost a child for a few minutes and the sheer panic I felt when that happened was more than enough for me.  I couldn’t imagine going any longer than that not know where my child is.  Talk about trauma.
  5. The death of a child. The greatest trauma you can feel as a parent.  I do wish I wasn’t a part of this club of moms, but alas I am.  Living the rest of my life having never gotten to know one of my children is the ultimate tragedy in motherhood.

All I have been thinking today is what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.  My heart broke into a million pieces today, but I’m still breathing and here.  In a few weeks I’ll look back at this time and think I’m glad we made it out the other side.  And we’ll be onto our next heartbreaking moment in parenting.

What tragic parenting moments have you experienced recently?

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