Easter is a holiday in the Western world that originally marked the resurrection of one Jesus Christ. Whether or not you want to believe that happened is not part of this article, but we do acknowledge the lasting impact of the biblical story on the world of popular culture. So to mark the holiday we’re busting out the ten characters who have risen from the grave in the realm of pop culture. First, the rules:
1) The character has to return to life in the same form they left it. No zombies, vampires, Time Lords or the like.
2) No comic book or slasher movie characters. Because their graves might as have been spring-loaded for the frequency at which they leap out of them.
#10 – Capt. Jack Sparrow
The Death: This is certainly the most pointless resurrection in cinematic history. Disney opten to film the sequels to Pirates of the Caribbean back-to-back, something that was made publicly known, with Capt. Jack Sparrow perishing at the end of the second while battling the Kraken. By this stage everyone in the audience knew that the third film was coming out in a few months and that Johnny Depp was playing Capt. Jack Sparrow again. So he died, but it didn’t mean anything.
The Resurrection: His friends and shipmates travel to the mystical realm of Davy Jones’ Locker using a magic map or some shit. To be honest I don’t remember much about how it worked. We were all waiting for him to come back so we could get the movie going.
#9 – Chev Chelios
The Death: Chev had a pretty bad time in Crank. He got poisoned and needed to keep the adrenaline pumping in order to slow the onset of his death. The movie ends with him falling out of a helicopter – a stunt that certainly upped the adrenaline but the pavement did nothing to help his situation.
The Resurrection: After having his remains scrapped off the pavement with a snow shovel Chelios was brought back to the land of the living by underground Chinese surgeons. They replace his heart with a battery powered artificial ticker that he needs to keep powered up by electrocuting himself.
#8 – Lt. Ellen Ripley
The Death: After struggling to destroy the bull-alien that terrorised the prison planet Fury 161 Ripley was left with one problem – the queen bitch alien gestating in her chest. Wanting to put the xenomorphic menace to rest she opted to sacrifice herself and dropping into a pool of molten lead, striking a none to sublte ‘Jesus-on-the-cross’ pose on the way down.
The Resurrection: Cut to the further future and Brad Dourif wants the aliens back. So he uses a couple of Ripley’s toenail clippings to extract her DNA and clone her back to life complete with alien egg-layer. She should’ve stayed dead.
#7 – Phil Connors
The Death: First he drives himself of a cliff. Then he electrocutes himself in the bath with a toaster. The he’s hit by a truck, leaps off a bell tower, shot, stabbed, hanged, frozen, poisoned and burned.
The Resurrection: Due to an unexplained plot device Phil has to re-live the same day of his life again and again until he ‘gets it right’ by hooking up with Andie MacDowell. Every morning at 6am he wakes up and started the day again…even if he dies.
#6 – Harry Potter
The Death: Time for the first of our Christ Allegories. Harry Potter, the boy wizard, is fighting alongside his friends and friends of friends and family and friends and, um, teachers as Voldemort and his Dark Wizards lay waste to Hogwarts. With the body count building and hope all but lost Harry does the honourable thing by sacrificing himself. After a 100 pages of Harry walking to his fate before his nemesis unceremoniously murders him.
The Resurrection: Harry finds himself in purgatory/train station with his old mentor Dumbledore and his enemy represented by an ugly baby thing. After Dumbledore rattles of some nonsense about it all coming down to love and family or something like that Harry is whisked back to the land of the living.
#5 – Neo
The Death: The Christ Allegories Strike Back. Mr. Anderson was a moody programmer who discovers that his world in a artificial reality created to imprison the human race. Upon his re-awakening in the real world there are those who believe he is the ‘Chosen One’ who with lead their people to salvation. This theory goes pear shaped when he takes a couple of bullets to the torso.
The Resurrection: Except he’s fine. Being the ‘One’ he is able to excerpt remarkable control over the Matrix. A couple of slugs in the chest is pretty easily shrugged off and he returns to life. Also some nonsense about love.
#4 – Buffy Summers
The Death: Buffy was strangled by The Master at the conclusion of Season 1, but she was resuscitated before her condition became permanent. Fast forward to the conclusion of Season 5 where Buffy is much more successful at being dead. When Glory opens a portal to a hell dimension using Buffy’s sister as a mystical key Buffy does the Jesus allegory thing by leaping to her death and sealing the portal.
The Resurrection: When her friends get all weepy about not having Buffy around any more they cast an evil spell to bring her back. Following some snake vomiting they do succeed but fail to get her out of her casket first, leaving their hero having to crawl her own way to the surface. Jerks.
#3 – Scott Pilgrim
The Death: After defeating the first six of Romana’s Evil Exes Scott Pilgrim finally comes face to face with the final bos: Gideon Gordon Greaves. True to his reputation Gideon is truly evil and stabs Scott through the back.
The Resurrection: Luckily Scott had picked up an extra life earlier in the story. He uses it to spring back to life, ready for a rematch. Sadly the movie adaptation left out one of the funniest moments of the book – Scott’s sister Stacey on the phone having told her mother of Scott’s death and then dismissing it with ‘never mind’.
#2 – Aslan
The Death: Return of the Christ Allegory. When the White Witch decides that young Brit Edmund is ripe for the execution the mighty Lion Aslan negotiates to take his place. The evil witch can’t turn down a chance to eliminate her greatest foe. They tie down Aslan, mock him and then murder him.
The Resurrection: Aslan turns up in the nick of time to turn the tide of battle against the witch. Because magic.
#1 – Gandalf
The Death: Gandalf the Grey was a party wizard. He smokes up the place, lets loose fireworks and then gets into a brawl with the nearest orc. Eventually he bites off more than he can chew by taking on a Balrog, a battle that ends with them killing each other on a mountain top in epic fashion.
The Resurrection: The Universe wasn’t done with him? Something like that. With Sauroman having gone off the deep end it was decided by some mystical forces that Gandalf would take his place as the White Wizard. This nobler calling doesn’t stop him from being a rascal though.
