This is the second ACFW conference I’ve missed since 2005. The second one in Indianapolis. Go figure! And while I fretted and lamented and whined about missing the first one, I’m much more mature this time around. Really! And this year YOU’RE gonna be jealous because I’m not going to ACFW. So try and be mature about it while you’re scrambling to finish last minute conference things this week and crying over the top 10 reasons you’re jealous I’m not going to ACFW this year!
10. I’m NOT stressing or rewriting my one sheet, proposal, or opening chapters like you!
9. I’m NOT memorizing or rehearsing my elevator pitch, but you are!
8. No need to wax my brows or color my roots, though they desperately need it!
7. I’m NOT worried about gaining five pounds from conference desserts, but you should be!
6, No need to buy waterproof mascara to avoid raccoon eyes from the amazing worship and tear induced late night laughter with friends!
5, I’ll get plenty of sleep at home instead of hanging out in the bar/lobby with friends! Jealous yet?
4. Instead of getting dressed for Susan May Warren’s pizza party, I can order delivery & eat in my PJs watching a rerun on netflix!
3. No need to spend money on a new dress for the Saturday night awards banquet! Lucky me!
2. No heart-wrenching, awkward goodbyes Sunday morning! Thank God!
And the number 1 reason you’re jealous I’m not going to ACFW?
1. I won’t have to spend a fortune in therapy after watching Chip MacGregor twerk in his kilt!
If you’re reading this and have no jealous bone in your body because you’re NOT going to ACFW this year either, I want to invite you to our Facebook event: No Writer Left Behind! I’m thinking we’ll start Friday night off with a PJs, pizza & popcorn movie night! Visit the Facebook event for more info! I’ll post updates as I figure it all out! 
