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Top 10 Asheville Confessions of the Week

Posted on the 01 March 2013 by Citizenthymes @citizenthymes

We asked you Asheville what you would like to confess to 100% anonymously over on our Asheville Confessions page. Here are the top 10 confessions from the last week.

1. Spent $60 on a first date last night and then found out she was a mormon doh…. God can be a real cock block sometimes #avlconfessions

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2. I avoid watching the Oscars & the superbowl just as passionately as I avoid going to a drum circle or shop at Earth Fair #avlconfessions
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3. There are 32 lies on my resume and I still can’t get hired #avlconfessions
when-you-realized-it-is-almost-2013
4. My kid asked me if he could play in the big leagues, I told him yes…..He still hasn’t figured out how to run the bases in the right order…stay in school #avlconfessions
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5. What does it take to swoop a nice Asheville lady? Yoga, meditation, weed, shower? Help! #avlconfessions
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6. I’m pregnant and don’t know who the father is…It is going to be a long week #avlconfessions
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7. I daydream a lot that my boss gets hit by a city bus…#avlconfessions
when-your-best-friend-asks-if-you-farted
8. Skipped church this morning for Sunny Point Café brunch, I still got in my weekly dose of a spiritual awakening #avlconfessions
When-youre-counting-down-to-zero-on-new-years-eve
9. Do you sometimes feel irritable? Restless? Uneasy? Sad? Normal? Or just plain not high? Maybe it’s time to try crack. Crack may cause shivers, night terrors, gay for pay, heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia, or the sensation that you’re on fire, peeing blood and seeing friends’ faces as talking skeletons are possible side effects of crack. People who use crack may also experience five to seven years in prison where brutal raping may occur. If you experience one or more of these side effects, consult your dealer. You may need more crack. Crack. Isn’t it time you see what all the fuss is about? #avlconfessions
When-someone-asks-you-how-your-life-is-going
10. My brother still doesn’t know I was the one who accidentally threw a baseball at his mustang’s windshield…sorry bro #avlconfessions
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