My boys are of an age where marriage is, hopefully, on the horizon. One son's marriage likely nearer on that horizon than the other. Of course, I have my preferences as to the specifics of the ceremony particularly now that I've returned to my Catholic roots. I'm also however keenly aware that my boys make their own choices about these things and that those choices may not mesh completely with my own.
All I can do is feed them information I hope will inform those choices and it's with that in mind that I bring them this piece found over at The Sierra Vista Herald:
There is a certain elegance in simplicity. Simple concepts cause us to marvel at their profundity. Take
Jesus’ comment about marriage in Mark 10:7 ff echoing Genesis 2:24, where we are told “the two shall become one flesh.” Simple truth, yet a magnificent concept about which literally thousands of books have been written, and tens of thousands of sermons preached.
Recently, my wife and I were invited to a wedding in which that sage explanation was cleanly and clearly demonstrated. Rebekah Carter married Jonathan West in an impressively uncluttered, non-smothering ceremony Aug. 10 at Faith Presbyterian Church.
The flowers adorning the pews were in mason jars … yet they added the right note of simple beauty and impressive joy to the church’s quiet splendor. The organ prelude was a pleasant array of folk tunes played as chancel candles were lighted. Janis Wheat was at the organ. The grandmothers entered to the strains of “Just a Wear’n for You,” as mothers gracefully ambled down the aisle to “My Life’s Delight.”
The best man and the maid of honor accompanied the groom along with the three bridesmaids dressed unostentatiously, yet pleasantly in dresses of subdued tints. They entered on the arms of four groomsmen attired in open-neck white shirts and tan vests. Their shoes were grey-green tennies. That procession paraded in to the sounds of the Choral and Shaker Tune, “ ‘Tis a Gift to be Simple.”
The bride, on the arm of her father, Richard Carter, marched stately toward the altar table to the courtly tune of “Little Prelude and Fugue in C Major” by Johann Sebastian Bach.
The service itself took on a tone of informality, yet sparkled with a homey dignity, as the Rev. Virginia Studer, Pastor of Faith Church, introduced the “Gift of Marriage.”
“God is love,” she read, “and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” (I John 4:16b) She advised the couple about the nature of Christian marriage, citing that “God gave us marriage as a holy mystery in which a man and a woman are joined together, and become one, just as Christ is one with the Church.
“In marriage,” explained the pastor, “husband and wife are called to a new way of life, created, ordered, and blessed by God. This way of life must not be entered into carelessly, or from selfish motives, but responsibly, and prayerfully. We rejoice that marriage is given by God, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ, and sustained by the Holy Spirit. Therefore,” she advised, “let marriage be held in honor by all.”
The bridal pair were asked if they understood that God “created, ordered, and blessed the covenant of marriage,” to which they earnestly replied, “I do.”
The parents of the bride were queried as to who gives this woman to be married to this man?” They responded with certainty, “We do.”
Among the Scripture passages read were these: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and I Corinthians 13:2-8, 13.
Pastor Studer launched into her homily, saying, “I love it when we reach this part of the day. The planning is over and done with. The lists are tossed and the decorations are in place.
The party is waiting.
“This is my favorite part of a wedding because once the back doors are closed and the guests have been seated … a kind of holy rush settles in. We reserve this time for God.
“We affirm that this is not just a secular moment in time but a very sacred moment. Stress, which is always part of a day as glorious as this begins to fade.
“Whether those behind you or those alongside of you are married, or divorced or single or widowed … what matters now is we turn our faces toward the One who has brought you together.
“Marriage teaches you loyalty, forbearance, and self-restraint.
“You have chosen to enter into this covenant of marriage, which means you have chosen loyalty, forbearance, forgiveness, self-restraint and a lot of other qualities you wouldn’t need if you stayed single. Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person.
This brilliant pastor then said:
“‘Tis a temptation for us to make God a decoration for our ceremonies, a nice touch to a dramatic moment. But colorful touches fade when the day is over. Only where God is known as the source of all color, all beauty, all that’s worth enduring … as the One whose imagination gave birth to each of you and gave you to one another … only there can life be found worth living.”
She concluded by admitting we fail to love as God seeks for us, but love itself never fails. “We fail it, but it will never fail us for true love is of God … to this center which Christ showed us most clearly.”
The solemn, evocative vows followed, and the traditional symbol of rings was used to seal the marriage.
There's more and it's beautiful and hopeful and worthy of your time but particularly worthy for anyone contemplating marriage.
Carry on.
