Dating Magazine

Think, Process, Focus

By Sassarella Says @cnigara
It seems odd that when one's current relationship gets more serious that one would reflect back upon (or even dream about) a previous failed relationship. Well, as you can probably guess, this recently happened to me. I woke up feeling quite strange this morning having had a dream about a previous man candy while in bed with my current one. The odd part was that while this past "relationship" failed, the dude was uncharacteristically portrayed as an outgoing, overly-friendly, mature, and appealing guy. (Not to say that he doesn't embody some of that but certainly not all at the same time and to that degree)!
Dream: I'm at a reunion of sorts with a lot of mutual friends and we hadn't seen each other in awhile. I remember feeling relieved that the girlfriend he had before me wasn't there and I remember watching him briskly say hello to his most recent ex. The exchange was pleasant and easy, he seemed happy, which is not like him. He owned the room with his charisma and charm. He was floating around saying hello to everyone, making extensive conversation and laughing wildly, all of which he does not normally do. I remember attempting to walk by him with my head phones on (which I guess indicates my natural instinct to pretend like I don't see him), but I still smile and wave to be polite. Then he stops me, which would never happen in real life, and as he's pulling me in for a hug he says, "Ohh come on! Say hello to me, ya jerk!" It was all very playful and so unlike our normally awkward exchanges. He was smiling from ear to ear and when we pulled away from the hug, we just stared at each other for a second and then KISSED.
I woke up immediately after that bugging the eff out.
Think, Process, FocusSo me being me, I immediately turn to the Internet seeking answers and it turns out I'm not alone. Of course there are a ton of what ifs, but ifs, and only ifs but one explanation really stuck out. When your current relationship is getting more serious, your subconscious shows you examples, provides warnings, and sends messages. For example, instead of freaking out that this dream means I want him back (which I certainly DO NOT), I really thought about what the dream was showing me. The more I thought about it, the more I put some pieces together. I realized that not only was he portrayed completely inaccurately but that his mannerisms, the way he spoke, the way he smiled, and the way he kissed me, I mean every ounce of the way he behaved is that of my current man! CREEPY.
I realized that this dream, although creepy, was a message. It was confirming all of the character and personality traits that I love about my man and showed me that I'm not making the same mistakes as I did with the ex-boyfriend who was in the dream! As decisions get more intense and steps get more serious with my man these days, my subconscious sent me a confirming message that I made the right choice.
Think, Process, FocusI'm patting myself on the back right now and I hope you are cyber-space high-fiving me! I also realllllly hope this is making as much sense as I want it to or else imma have a lot of 'splaining to do.
The only part that is bugging me about the dream is WHY HIM? Of all of the ex-boyfriends and former flings, why did my subconscious choose this guy? It made me wonder, how do you know when you are absolutely 100% over someone? You all know me well enough to know that if I weren't over him, I wouldn't be in this current relationship for as long as I have. I'm not a settler nor am I an idiot.
But is it about having closure? What if there really wasn't any closure? What if there wasn't an a-ha moment? What if we didn't have the big blow-out fight? What if he didn't do anything soOoOo horrible to me that I could never forgive and forget? It just kinda pooped out.
Think, Process, FocusI guess you don't ever really know for sure but what you can be sure of is your present. My present is what matters and I have unflagging certainty that I am in the right relationship at the right time.
Sassarella Says...that's all I got. Love ya.

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