They Say You Can’t Go Back

They say you can’t go back, but I don’t believe that’s true. This weekend I revisited my grandparents’ stomping grounds, and it was a moving and beautiful experience. I was very close with them, and sadly, my grandfather died at 63 of Leukemia. My grandmother passed when she was 74 from bladder cancer. I was 13 and 26 respectively when they died. I spent a lot of time in Cedar Grove, NJ, especially when my grandfather was dying that summer; my mom, brother, and I lived there (our home was in Maryland), so I felt connected to the place. I also lived there when I was little, and if you’ve read my novel BENEATH THE MIMOSA TREE, you know that story was inspired by my grandmother’s next door neighbors, particularly a boy named Michael, who I played with in my formative years.

The first house that my grandparents owned that I remember as a kid.

I visited both the homes I knew as a kid and where my mom and her sister grew up, and then Town Hall, where my grandmother was the Town Clerk. The final stop was St. Catherine of Siena Catholic Church, where my mother and father were married 60 years ago (we just celebrated their anniversary this summer), and where the services for both my grandparents and great-grandparents were held when they passed.

The second home my grandparents owned and where we spent a summer.

It was an emotional day, especially because I had just left a Celebration of Life for my uncle on my dad’s side of the family. Being with family makes you realize how special they are and how we should spend more time together…and how fleeting time is.

The Town Hall where my grandmother was the Town Clerk.

I’m lucky because I have many of my grandmother’s artifacts that she gave to me before she died, including two rings that I cherish. Her Christmas decorations will be coming out of their boxes soon, and as I’m displaying them, I’ll be thinking of her, my grandfather, my own family, and all the special times we shared.

The church where my parents were married 60 years ago.
We celebrated their anniversary this summer with our family.The inside of St. Catherine of Siena. It was one of the most beautiful masses I’ve ever attended. This was before it filled up. They have a strong congregation!

On the drive home, soon after we left, I saw a big cross in the sky…I know it was a sign. 

This is what we saw on the ride home. I know it was a sign.

xx,
Stephanie

About the author:

STEPHANIE VERNI is the author of THE ONES CLOSEST TO YOU, THE LETTERS IN THE BOOKS; FROM HUMBUG TO HUMBLE: THE TRANSFORMATION OF EBENEZER SCROOGE; BENEATH THE MIMOSA TREE; INN SIGNIFICANT; LITTLE MILESTONES; THE POSTCARD; and ANNA IN TUSCANY. She is also a co-author of the textbook, EVENT PLANNING & MANAGEMENT: COMMUNICATING THEORY & PRACTICE. Currently an adjunct professor at Stevenson University Online, she instructs communication courses for undergraduate and graduate students. She and her husband reside in Severna Park, Maryland, have two children, and a little boat that makes them immensely happy.

Connect with Stephanie on Instagram at stephanieverniwrites, (provided they allow it) and on TikTok at stephanieverniwrites.