Humor Magazine

The World Cup: Origins

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

So, what is that thing that happens on TV every four years that no-one cares about when it isn’t on? No! Not the Olympics! Yes! The World Cup!

In this, the first in a series of features in which I feature a series of how certain things came to be and/or live and exist (ie: their origins), I shall take a look at the Origins of… The World Cup! Hast thou ever wondered on the origins of yon World Cup? Perhaps it is time you did so!

It all began in 1902 when British arcaoeoaoheologists (the best in the world) discovered a golden cup in the ancient sands near Heathrow Airport. This cup, dubbed, “The Best in the world” by contemporaries, was later sent on a round the world luxury cruise with Reginald P. Bommer OBE, in order to give it glimpses of its birth planet from within a luxury 5-star cabin.

Ten days later, it died.

In honour of this most glorious cup, a competition was formed. It was decided that every four years, archaeaeoaologists would gather and disperse, trying to find a succesor to this “World Cup.” This digging competition later devolved into the soccer game that we know today. Apparently, however, our soccer version is just as exciting as those early days when people used to sit in the stands to watch old men with moustaches dig in mud.

So what can YOU do about it? Why not have your own World Cup? Send your family and friends out and about to find a cup that you believe should be reckoned as “The Best in all ye Worlde.” Put it on display, sell tickets, throw it at David Beckham’s head. It’s all in the spirit! This year, turn off the TV and enjoy your own World Cup!

- Gloria Samwise, winner of the last

– Gloria Samwise, regional World Cup contestant, and her winning entry found near Cleats, Ohio.




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