Years ago we saw 300 and wow were we ever blown away. Then a lot of time passed and Zak Snyder has been hard at work being the best knock off JJ Abrams he can be working on the DCU. Well, we now have a whole bunch of these films and a few that were supposed to line up with them and the verdict is in - We So Do Not Need Any More Bad DCU content til we figure out how to do it right.
INTO THE SNYDERVERSE!
i wont say theres nothing good in Zak Snyders DC movies, I would just point out that we pay far to high a price in these movies to set up the good stuff. Visuals and aesthetics aside all Snyder has done is really make a bunch of uneven Mystery Box lens flare nightmares. His movies take around an hour for the plot to kick in and his dialogue is horrible.
Floating all the movies is the cast- which is unable to connect well but are mostly good, fan service and pretty good fight scenes.
In maybe the most watchable movie - Batman vs Superman- which his fans seem to think is his worst - he handles things fairly well most of the time and falls off a cliff for a while at others.
The biggest issue is Snyder in general just longwinded, sort of boring and very clunky showing us what happens. The way Lex Luthor plays in could have worked - if the story had been a little less of a mess and he was allowed to be menacing rather than bipolar, high and annoying.
The movie is the second time we see this apathetic, cynical, joyless Superman. We also throw in a pretty vengeful and different take on Batman- that works somewhat better. This is a lot of new, different stuff. And theres LOTS of cringe. Ghost Dad Kevin Costner makes you long for Glen Ford its so bad. He also has a completely different way of playing the character from he did n Man of Steel. Fortunately he splits after a bizarre and dismal story about the time he killed some horses and found ...love? Thanks dad.
In BVS Sup apparently has spent most of the last 18 months having the worlds most superficial relationship with Lois Lane; shopping for groceries with blithe indifference to the events of Man of Steel - a movie with a death toll so much higher than Avengers 1. Just to review - theres just no way there were less than 100,000 dead from the multiple 9-11's per minute that fill the last hour of the movie. Superman was mocked over and over for caring too much about the people on earth- while they die in droves around him to his complete indifference. Sup just never really reacts to pain til he saves 4 people at the end. He also is just a completely indifferent Collateral Damage Machine who just comes off as heartless.
Theres very little saving people - and the people in this world REALLY need it as they always freeze and stare when in danger. Every single time.
The first hour of the movie was kind of pointless. Batman is obscure but famous. Superman is inexplicably magnetized to Lois and acts like Hitler whenever shes in danger. Hes totally okay killing people and doesnt mind the fact he cant save everyone- or a lot of times he can save people but elects not to- like in the previous movie when his earth dad Kevin Costner opts to wait for a tornado to kill him while warning young Clark not to help. So hes pretty different then the Superman that was established. And he idiotically refuses to use his heat vision when its clearly his best weapon in this iteration.
Just for reference- heres Superman as we knew him expressing his dedication to Justice and sounding- ironically- far less cartoonish and more like the selfless, dedicated hero we remember.
We get some human perspective on the Kryptonian Attack from Man of Steel through Bruce Wayne- whose means of getting from Gotham to Metropolis is just a bit unclear- appears to opt to take his normal car there as Bruce Wayne and thereby minimizes his abilities. Was he already in Metropolis? Why not go as Batman is he sees this from Gotham? Imagine if Snyder had simply had used the established gothic look of Batman's city to help us out? Then he could call me a terrible reviewer with real ammunition!
The fact Snyder doesnt get Superman is bad, but the fact he doesnt get Batman is actually not as huge an issue. Weve never seen him on screen like this before- but hes Batman-ish enough. The issue is bad dialogue thats often contradictory and an apparently a real lack of re-drafting the script. Theres people who do this for a living and they could have saved these movies.
For Example; we have a Nolan inspired Batman who repeatedly says hes been at it for 20 years. Theres a Bat signal. This is all cool, til we find out no one in nearby Metropolis and a lot of the cops in Gotham have no clue who he is. Unqualified ex church janitor Journalist Clark Kent takes an interest in the 'Bat Vigilante' and never bothers to google him. So Clark sucks as a journalist. Theres also apparently no FBI in this world.
We get a bad cameo from good actress Holly Hunter and thats springboard to nonstop reference to piss. Not kidding.
Wonderwoman- seemingly designated such by Lex in a file the only useful computer in this universe - is so minimal in this, really a tease, theres not a lot of problems. The movie is almost totally unaware of the events laid out in the Wonderwoman movies that chronologically precede it. Hard to say whose fault that is. Also throw in that now we know that one of the bystanders doing nothing is Martian Manhunter - as revealed in the contradictory Snyder Cut of Justice League - so we have to wonder about his disinterest in these events.
The movie is littered with errors and is considered the worst DCU movie by fans of this iteration, and I will say its worse than Batman Forever. But of all the DCU movies Snyder is involved in this one is least bad with the most good. Its still only an ok movie thats an hour too long.
Other mistakes include the sheer proximity of Gotham to Metropolis. Theyre as far apart as Manhattan and Queens. Snyder makes no attempt to differentiate the cities. Despite long rich cinematic histories for both Snyder makes them BOTH into Anytown. Its a shame.
The BVS ultimate cut - like all other Snyder projects, is bloated with slow mo and uses characters talking to themselves or simply reciting their backstories when they show up. This is the longest movie to ever feel rushed. Nothing much happens for the first hour. Then things just happen, usually due to coincidence or simple lack of communication.
When the two fight its fairly cool and Batman really does look and sound cool. Hes not much of a tactician this time around but hes not unlikable - like poor Henry Cavill's Superman.
When Batman and Sup finally get on the same page their plan is bafflingly bad - Batman will save Superman's mom from Lex's hired killers and Superman will stick around and take care of Lex while he protects Lois- over his own mom. Despite their skills being suited for taking the opposite roles. Why it works anyway is preposterous- but we do hey a great Batman fight scene.
We end with the use of Nuclear Weapons for no really good reason on Superman and Doomsday- thrown in there for no real reason. One thing sort of leads to another and when its all over Superman is Dead.
Why does no one know who Wonderwoman is when she was all over TV and got the world to renounce their wishes in 1984 when the WHOLE WORLD sees it? Why is Superman so unconcerned about mass casualty events and his own mom? At least Alfred was fun.
Rules are established in this movie that are ignored by other DCU creators and Snyder himself. And this really was the most watchable of these movies when I endured on my personal to see how the DCU got so broken.
Like Krypton, Zak Snyder had his chance. Theres no putting this universe together without a reboot. Whats it say that Suicide Squads a little bit better?
The Snyderverse is a dark, boring, slow poorly explained universe. Theres conflctiing origins that were dwelt on too much. Theres no real (intentional) humor. Theres needlessly weird scenes where we see a Super Hitler Superman that we didnt need. There dialogue thats so much worse then the cringe-ist line in the Star Wars Sequels. Exposition is mostly people showing up and blurting out their backstory and goals in a corny way when they say hello or by simply talking to themselves.
I dont need to see anymore of these characters through Zak's eyes. Time to move on.
As a member of the Fandom Menace Movement I can only say- Nothing would have been as good as this mess - that we should walk away from.
