The Small Indignities; Or I Could Just Step Outside with It, I Suppose

There are many reasons for my continued employment at Acme Grommets and Gravel, very few of which have anything to do with financial security.
Firstly, there’s my love of the pre-dawn alarm clock. 
Then there’s my goodly skills with English. 
Srsly.
And of course there’s my reputation as a sprightly and energetic dancer.
Truth be told, however, the real reason I continue to appear EVERY DAY, ALL DAY at Acme Grommets and Gravel, is because of the 25-cent sodies in the break room.
Canned pop!  For a quarter!  Coke, both Diet and Regular; Orange Fanta; Diet Dew and, somewhat seditiously, both regular and diet Pepsi, the temperature is proudly displayed right there near the coin slot.
Ooooh, but there’s nothing like a 34-degree Diet Coke. 
So you can imagine my dismay when I walked into the break room the other day, pulled a quarter from my back pocket, raised the coin to the slot – and noticed the glowing red light of the temperature display.
Forty-two degrees.
Well.
I barely skirt having my eyeballs freeze every morning at the bus stop, my love of gravy has ensured that my thighs bear the imprint of the seams of my pants and now my pop is at 42?
It’s all I can do to keep from marching down to HR