Humor Magazine

The Selfie Drinking Game

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

At some point everyone considers cleaning out their Facebook friend list.  Too many instances of “what the hell am I looking at?” and “is this real life?” make the unfriend button look incredibly appealing.  But it’s hard to follow through– what if you miss out on something or need that person at some point?

It turns out, you do— because nothing is guaranteed to get you schwastey faced like The Selfie Drinking Game.  Setup is minimal: All you need is access to your Facebook and copious amounts of alcohol.

ROUTINE SELFIE = TAKE ONE SHOT

These are your run-of-the-mill selfies that get uploaded by the same people every hour, on the hour.

“Mirror Selfie”

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“Duck Face Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

FAIL SELFIE = TAKE TWO SHOTS 

These are people’s sad attempts to deny reality and deceive others as to the true desperation of their existence.

“My Fake Boyfriend Took This Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

“I Don’t Know How Mirrors Work Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

“Disproportionate Share Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

UPSETTING SELFIE = TAKE THREE SHOTS

These are phenomenons which simply cannot be explained and which aid in the increase of personal self-esteem and appreciation that you are not the person in the photo.

“Dafuq Is This?! Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

“Mom of the Year Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

“You Are Not Pulling This Off Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

“OMG Clean Your Room Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

POSSIBLY ILLEGAL SELFIE = TAKE FOUR SHOTS AND CALL THE POLICE

These should just not happen.  Ever.  Not even in a Tarantino film.

“Multitasking Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

“Keepin’ it in the Family Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

“Someone Should Report This Selfie”

The Selfie Drinking Game

Unicorn Selfie = Finish the Rest of the Bottle and go to Bed

Otherwise known as “the impressive selfie,” these photos are rumored to exist in certain areas of the internet.

“Kind of Want to Try this Selfie”

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Drinking and selfies go hand-in-hand but don’t forget to do both responsibly, like this girl:

drunk

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

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