If you haven’t seen the show, House of Cards, it’s about the corruption and intrigue behind the nation’s capital.
Did we mention it stars a friend of ours?
*Name drop in 5…4…3….*
Kevin Spacey!
In the show…between killing drunk Congressmen, back stabbing the President, fighting the Chinese, and some good old fashion lesbian sex…you get to see how hard it is to try to pass a new bill through Congress.
Granted this Machiavellian drama is more fiction than fact, but it’s still a glimpse behind the process we would never see…unless you’re addicted to C-Span.
Or C-Span Two.
Or watching moss grow on rocks.
If all of the above are equally entertaining to you, you may need to get out more…or get a puppy.
It seems very apparent from the list below that it’s not quite that hard to pass laws on the state level. It also seems very apparent that the laws passed on the state level are written by people on the weed…for people on the weed.
Happy Saturday!
1. You Looking At Me??!!
Omawarisan: …or the governor.
Chris: Or the couch you will be sleeping on after frowning at your wife for getting a speeding ticket.
Ned: Please send bail money, Chris and Adam. I should’ve read this before I left for Hoboken.
2. Free Willy, Yee Haw!
Omawarisan: This isn’t weird. Some clown released a pair of whales from his aquarium into a pond in Tennessee a few decades ago. Now the whole state is lousy with whales; they’re considered an invasive species.
Chris: In California your also not allowed to shoot Moonshiners from your BMW.
Ned: But in Tennessee, it’s OK to shoot Californians from anywhere.
3. Why Underwear Isn’t Made From Shamwow
Omawarisan: Everyone in San Francisco wears leather underwear, so it wouldn’t really work anyhow.
Chris: My neighbor’s underwear could wash a Mack truck in one swipe.
Ned: If you’re in San Francisco bending over to dry your car, underwear is the least of your worries.
4. Snow way!
Omawarisan: But an ocelot is ok.
Chris: What about a convertible?
Ned: This could be a problem if your car is actually a dog sled.
5. Head Out On The Highway, Looking For A Gas Station…
Chris: Oh those Germans! Their sense of humor knows no bounds!
Ned: Not a problem, since with the price of gas overseas I couldn’t afford to leave my driveway.
6. Why You Should Keep Spare Change In The Trunk
Omawarisan: This is ridiculous and unenforceable. Elephants don’t have windshield wipers to put a ticket under.
Ned: If you’ve ever tried to parallel park an elephant downtown, you know it’s better to take a bus.
—–
MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:
Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
Twitter: @LongAwkPause
Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag
Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic
Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP? Click HERE.
