Humor Magazine

The Saturday Six: Awkward Kid Photos

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss
 saturday six

 Ah….

The innocence of youth, and how it’s wasted on the young.

Those darling apples of your eyes…

Hey…what does that mean anyway? Apples don’t have eyes. Eyes don’t have apples.

Oops. Sorry. We digress. Let’s try again.

Those darling apples of your eyes….

Listen…seriously…who came up with that?

Potatoes have eyes. That would make much more sense! We understand that the phrase; potatoes of your eye doesn’t sound as sweet…but it fits better.

Right?

Right….?

So anyway…

Those darling potatoes of your eyes…you want to capture their youth and spirit before they turn into crabby, sleepy teenagers. You want to hang what they once were upon your walls, while their teenage selves sulk in their room and listen to depressing songs and/or boy bands and/or depressing songs about boy bands.

You can look upon your wall at the cute little thing that used to run around with his/her diaper half off, cookie smeared all over their face, holding their favorite toy while their evil teenage counterparts are locked in their room, taking selfies, hoarding tissues, and ear buds smashed so tight  into the drum to tune out you and the world

Below are some kids pictures that didn’t quite capture the moment as planned.

Anyway…

Happy Saturday!


1. Ballerina And The Game Twister Combined

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BrainRants: This one’s a future Russian weightlifter.  Or Oompa Loompa

Omawarisan: There’s so much here! Here’s what I’m settling on. This kid has huge hands. Her hands are like white baseball gloves.

Ned: I believe this is the earliest known photo of John Wayne Gacy.

2. Bubbles In Just The Right Place

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BrainRants: Three words: Trailer Park Boys.

Omawarisan: That must be the no more tears formula.

Ned: Little Billy’s eyes always perked up when Helga the wet nurse showed up for feeding time.

3. Earning The Merit Badge For Future Serial Killer

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BrainRants: Odd, I see nothing wrong with this picture.  Not at all.

Omawarisan: The spirit of the pack is the wolf. The spirit of the wolf is the pack. Apparently that’s Pack 34 in Peoria.

Ned: Moments later, Timmy realized Fluffy had never run away from home like his parents told him.

4. OK, Look This Way At The Camera…Or Any Way You Want To…

 
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BrainRants: Someone farted, and I know who.  The self-satisfied, smug look says it all.

Omawarisan: That is the oldest baby, ever.

Ned: “What do you mean this baby is actually our FATHER!?!”

5.  Sammy Hagar hating 5. Later In Life He Would Hate 55

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BrainRants: Pretty much my reaction to a necktie at any age.

Omawarisan: You want to dress for a portrait, but don’t over dress.

Ned:  Apparently, the only way they could get him to wear a tie was by telling him it was made out of candy.

6. Future Juggalo

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BrainRants: This will now haunt my dreams for years…

Omawarisan: You know, they want you to adopt older kids. Who has the money to adopt and then undo this kind of fucked up?

Ned: Even after seeing this, Gene Simmons is still asking for a paternity test.

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