Humor Magazine

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss
 saturday six copy

 Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins…


Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will turn into teenagers!

And teenagers are EVIL!

group of teenagers sitting outdoors and using cellphone

(They can’t help it. It’s in their nature.)

Oh, you  still love your teenagers, because…well…you have too…

But let’s not pull any punches here…teenagers are like the grocery store cookie aisle full of nothing but stale Vanilla Wafers. You are expecting great things but all you get are moody, room hiding, sour, argumentative, bigger versions of their baby selves that just eat, sleep, and borrow your car.

Oh, how sometimes you long for that baby version to appear again…

Until it’s time to change a diaper.


Happy Saturday!

1. I Don’t Like Strained Carrots! I Really Don’t!


BrainRants: “Like, Sierra totally wore the same outfit as me today and acted like it was totally like, my fault.  Now nobody will text me back and my boyfriend dumped me for Tiffani.”

Omawarisan: Good news, everyone! Curly, from the Three Stooges, has been reincarnated.

List of X: “To pee or not to pee, that is the question…”

Ned: As a parent, it doesn’t take long to figure out what is happening inside your child’s diaper when you see this face. Some day, my children will see this face when it’s time to change mine.

2. Don’t Sit On The Steam Pipe


BrainRants: “Behold!  I am UberBaby!  Feel the power of my meltdown!  Fear the stench of my poopie!”

List of X: “Uh-oh, I think I pooped out a train!”

Ned: Because it’s never too early to begin preparing your child to be a rail-riding hobo.

3. I Said I Wanted Tulips!


BrainRants: This look roughly translates into, “Give me what I want or I’ll grow up into a microskirt-wearing, meth-inhaling, hose-beast.”

Omawarisan: I think her name might really be Buck.

List of X: Some professional models start developing their trademark gloomy look early on in their careers

Ned: SPOILER ALERT: Guess who’s going to be on the 2035 season of The Bachelorette?

4. I’m Over You Mr. “Professional” Photographer!


BrainRants: So young and innocent… and clearly this cherub is totally out of fucks to give.

Omawarisan: Hey, look at what I found in my Oshkosh B’gosh! Pretty sure it is for you.

List of X: “Nope. Don’t work during my union break.”

Ned: I think I would’ve ordered the silhouette package.

5. Wait…This Is Not The Beach


BrainRants: This one brought to you by Dads Also Wearing Dad Swimwear.

Omawarisan: In that moment, Darrell remembered the rule – “no one should touch you anywhere your bathing suit covers.”

List of X: “OMG, why do I already have chest hair – and just on one side??”

Ned: Gee, most photographers pull out a puppet or stuffed animal from under their apron. What the hell is THAT?!?

6. Pineapple Dum-Dum? I Wanted Root Beer!


 BrainRants: Two words: Birth.  Control.

Omawarisan: My God, the poor woman shoots out kids like she’s a Pez.

List of X: Everyone in the family was ready to take the picture except for little Sean who was still celebrating St. Patrick’s day.

Ned: But I don’t WANT to be a Mormon!



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