Co-sleeping is a practice in which babies and young children sleep close to one or both parents, as opposed to in a separate room.
While there may be conflicting views on this matter and concerns on safety and health have been raised, I believe that it is ultimately the decision of the parents and no matter what advice you have been given, whatever that works for you and your baby, just do it.
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For us, back in Sweden, since our guest room was located at the other side of the hallway, we decided it was not practical to have our newborn sleep alone there and thus our initial plan was to have Angel sleep in a playpen in our bedroom.
Within the first two weeks of her birth, due to the frequency of her waking up in wee hours to nurse, meaning that one of us would have to get out of bed, go to the playpen, carry her out, bring to mama to breastfeed, wait for her to finish, pat her to sleep and then carry her back to the playpen, the sleep-deprived hubby caved in one night and let her sleep on our bed. I was going to protest but seeing how snugly and perfectly she fitted in between us, I decided to let it go, close my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
The fact was, from that night onwards, we never looked back and it somehow became a routine and a habit to have our baby right beside us.
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Some of you might think, what if we toss and turn and crush our baby? What if she rolls off the bed? What if I hit her accidentally? What if our bodies press too hard against her and she suffocates? Interestingly, studies have shown that mothers are so physically and mentally aware of their baby’s presence even while sleeping that it is extremely unlikely they would roll over onto their baby. Some fathers, on the other hand, may not enjoy the same sensitivity of baby’s presence while asleep, so it is possible they might roll over on or throw out an arm onto baby.
Truth is, I have seen my hubby throw out an arm onto Angel's face and I was so upset by it that I kept a vigil watch over her the next few nights. Eventually, I came to realize that it was a rare accident which didn't happen again, at least not that I could see or sense it, and the baby was totally fine and happy to be there with us. Especially since I breastfed her up to 16 months, having her right beside me made it so much more convenient and less tiring. In fact, sometimes both of us would doze off in the process and I would wake up with exposed boobs.
As she grew up, we continued to co-sleep and when she turned two, we let her sleep on a single bed placed beside our queen-size bed. No more bed sharing but still co-sleeping nonetheless. Not to mention she would sometimes roll over to our side for that familiar feeling.
So you see, for those cold winters or days when the hubby went sailing, it was my girl who kept me warm with her hugs. We would snuggle in bed, read bedtime stories, sing nursery rhymes, talk about the day's happenings, kiss each other goodnight and then just go to sleep feeling our skin rubbing against each other. It somehow felt so good to know despite the gloomy house, raging snowstorms and freezing nights, I was no longer alone in the world.
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That said, I knew that in no time to come, she was going to have a room of her own. In fact, I promised to give her a princess room full of girly, pink stuff, along with flowers and butterflies.
When we came back to Singapore, we realised that having six people living in a 92sqm 4-room HDB flat didn't give us that much room to play with. The parents-in-law took one room, we took one room, the bomb shelter functioned as a storeroom which was packed to the max, the kitchen was full and so was the living room, we couldn't find enough space to put even a computer table, much less devote a room for the princess. Eventually, when our shipment arrived from Sweden, the third and last room became another storage room for the baby clothes, toys, stationery, books and all the hubby's and my miscellaneous stuff from fishing gear and roller blades to craft materials and party supplies.
Upon giving birth to Ariel, I wasn't that devastated by the fact that we had to co-sleep as a family of four. In fact, that idea thrilled me and though it wasn't easy to make both the kiddos go to bed at the same time, it was fun to sleep together, have girly talks under the blanket, read bedtime stories together and just do the things that mothers and daughter do.
We also made a trip to IKEA and got a bed for Angel. Finally. Her own bed. Back in Sweden, we slept on mattresses on the floor so you must understand that having a bed frame is a big thing for all of us. Why, I even bought a Dora bedsheet for her so she would love sleeping on her bed.
Last month, after a year of co-sleeping with four in the room, we made a big decision. The hubby and I donated away boxes of stuff to the Salvation Army, including toys, games, clothes and bags, some of which were either brand new or in perfect condition. After some shifting, tidying and spring cleaning, we achieved what we set out to do.
THIS.We were going to give the big girl her own room.
Yes I know, it is a far cry from a princess room because half of it still functions like a storeroom. Ok, it doesn't even have any proper curtains as you can see. But, at the very least, she now proudly proclaims "This is my room" and happily shows it to the gramps or anyone who comes to visit.
The most surprising thing is, she actually likes sleeping in the room. While she may request for Mummy or Daddy to accompany her for a while, the fact is she has already taken afternoon naps and even slept through the night on her own not just once or twice, but many times. Wow. She is really no longer that small girl who clings onto Mummy and has to pull my hair till it falls off before she can doze off. I don't know how many of you can understand that, but having co-slept for the first four years of her life, this is a big milestone for us.
And I'm not afraid to confess, while she might be the big girl who sleeps on her own bed in her own room now, I am the small baby who might tear up or even bawl knowing that there is one less person beside me for me to cuddle. In fact, call me a childish mama who refuses to move on but I have secretly whispered to her "When Daddy goes sailing, you can always come to sleep with me and meimei, ok? I will miss you." That said, I now get to do what every mom does in storybooks. Tuck my child in, kiss good night, turn off the light and gently close the door after I go out. Albeit half-heartedly. The first night was hard. I walked away with heavy steps and felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. Ironic, isn't it? It's like a part of me wants her to grow up and be a more independent girl, while another part of me is still hanging on to the good old times of her as my sticky, cute little baby.
Motherhood, it is always so confusing, isn't it?
Like it or not, I guess, it's high time for me to start thinking of how I can spice up the princess room. Come the day when both my girls leave me to sleep in that room, I'm not sure if I can take it with a smile.
When did your child sleep in his/her own room? Do you have any tips to share?
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