Diaries Magazine

The Precipice….

By Pearlmacek

I am coming to the end of my internship at the WCAI radio station here in Woods Hole and I have no idea what I am going to be doing after. I was so concentrated on doing well with my internship, studying for the GRE and applying to schools, that I forgot completely of preparing for the next 10 months. I have no idea what the near future holds. Hopefully, in the long run, well, next year, I will have been accepted my at least two schools and I will be off on my merry way to J-school! But right now, the here and now, the near future is making me draw a blank.

I have spoken to people “in the bizz” who tell me that journalism school isn’t even necessary! I know this now but it’s a little too late in the game to not apply to these schools after all the research and studying for the GRE. Heck, I’m even taking the TOEFL just to prove to one school that I can really speak English! Yes, sure, sometimes I doubt it myself but I swear it’s my mother tongue!

I am going to go to journalism school. I know that it won’t be a waste of time. I mean, I’m scared about the whole going into debt thing. Really scared. But I want to go to graduate school and I want to go to a good school this time. Now, I’m not slagging the University of Puerto Rico or anything but it certainly was a school in which I had to fight tooth and nail in order to be recognized. Now, I am still going to fight tooth and nail, but I do want that recognition of my hard work to come just a little easier.

So back to the precipice I’m standing on. What should I do? Should I stay in the States? Should I go back to Paris? Maybe South America? And even more importantly (well just as importantly) should I look for other internships at newspapers and radio stations or should I get a job that will allow me to save some money for school?  Like at a strip club….no just joking, I mean a bar or restaurant.

So many questions that I feel my head is going to explode. People tell me to “take it easy” and that “it will all fall into place” but I’m the type of person that sweats the small stuff. I can’t help it. I’m type A, anal retentive.

And yet, everybody I meet that are worth meeting, had a life or live a life that they never originally had in mind. Things just do happen, whether for better or for worse and that is probably one of the biggest lessons that I will ever have to learn in life.

Who knows, maybe one day I might just finally learn it…..

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