Family Magazine

The Opposite Of A Lecture

By Joanigeltman @joanigeltman

Are you a lecturer quiz?
1. Y N Do you feel like you absolutely know what is best for your teen?
2. Y N Do you regularly expound on this to your teen?
3. Y N When your teen comes to you with a problem in his/her life to you jump into problem solver mode?
4. Y N Do you find it hard to take questions from your "listening audience"
5. Y N Do you like to be right?
I am guessing that we all got 100% on this quiz. Only this 100% probably won't get you an applause and a congrats from your teen. Problem solving comes very naturally to parents. We see our kids making mistakes, we see our kids in pain, we see uour kids about to do something that is unsafe and it feels natural to want to protect them from all of it. Unfortunately your teens do not want your protection, they actually want the opposite of your protection. Which is weird, because they come to their parents with their problems, and as soon we go to give them our worldly advice, they respond with a rejection and a "you never listen!" And that is the crux of the matter. Your teens come to you because you love them, and know them better than anyone else. Their fantasy is they will tell you something and you will just listen. That's it, just listen. Here is the miscommunication. You think that when they come to you, they want you to tell them what they should do. But really they just want you to listen, maybe show some empathy, "oh honey, that must be so hard, or I'm sorry that must be so frustrating." But instead they get a "here's what I think you should do....!" And their eyes go dark.
Giving your teen the gift of listening is maybe your greatest gift to them. Unless they actually say the words, what do you think I should do?Go for a good nod, a hug, and some words of comfort. They are probably doing the work of figuring it out, and just need someone to bounce the words off and reflect back. Don't we all? This work of figuring it all out is what gives them the confidence they will need as they move into adulthood. If you do that work for them, they will never be prepared for they future that most assuredly is ahead for them.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • 5 Fictional Fashion Icons Who Can Inspire You to Look Stylish, Cool & Quirky

    Fictional Fashion Icons Inspire Look Stylish, Cool Quirky

    5 fictional fashion icons who would inspire you to look stylish, cool and quirky Being stylish usually means keeping up with the latest trends and maintaining... Read more

    The 24 June 2018 by   Khadija Beauty
    HAIR & BEAUTY, LIFESTYLE
  • Some Other June

    Some Other June

    Still camera-less but around here, one June looks much like another. These are from 2014 but they could have been taken yesterday -- day lilies rioting, tomatoe... Read more

    The 24 June 2018 by   Vickilane
    CREATIVITY, PHOTOGRAPHY
  • A Guide to Choosing the Best Summer Fabrics

    Guide Choosing Best Summer Fabrics

    In summer, with high temperatures, to survive the heat it is important to wear clothing that let the skin breathe. There are types of fabrics that in contact... Read more

    The 24 June 2018 by   Fashionbloggeritalia
    FASHION, LIFESTYLE
  • Tasting Notes: Black Isle: 5-A-Day

    Tasting Notes: Black Isle: 5-A-Day

    Black Isle: 5-A-Day (Scotland: Fruit Session IPA: 3.5% ABV)Visual: Darkened yellow to brown. Very large off white bubbled head.Nose: Passion-fruit. Lightly... Read more

    The 23 June 2018 by   Alcoholandaphorisms
    DRINK, FOOD & DRINK
  • About 60% of Methane is Released By Oil and Gas Operations, Study Shows

    About Methane Released Operations, Study Shows

    About 60% of Methane is Released By Oil and Gas Operations than EPA Thought, Study Shows Based on a study which was released on Thursday, it has been... Read more

    The 23 June 2018 by   Rinkesh
    ENVIRONMENT
  • Classic Media Advertising Pages

    Classic Media Advertising Pages

    I frequently feel like running the Harvey Mercheum is a lot like juggling, trying to keep many balls in the air at once. It turns out that I am a terrible... Read more

    The 23 June 2018 by   Hmcurator
    BOOKS
  • Blogs to Check Out

    Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. Summer break is here! Finally. I didn’t think it would ever get here. Winter was way too long this year. This summe... Read more

    The 23 June 2018 by   Lisaorchard
    LIFESTYLE

Magazines