As I get familiar with the landscape of Facebook, as Stacy’s Flutterings page manager, I find that I’ve been thinking about content and where to begin. Yesterday, I finally came to a decision. I’ve decided to repost one of my first blog posts so that I can share with you the number 1 reason why I started Stacy’s Flutterings blog.
Briefly, the blog post below was first published on September 25th, 2011, and it was originally titled, “Flutterings.” Goodness! That was years ago! I hope this repost sheds some light on why the blog was born. And another thought, I want to share with you that we’ve grown immensely individually and as a family since, and I think it’s important to remember where we came! Why? Because it shows growth of course and illuminates positive light where there appears to be none! Enjoy…
Throughout the years, I never really gave much thought to the special things that occur around me. I was so wrapped up in the big picture. However, last summer when Kim came back home for a spell, I noticed her looking at a rose bush Bill planted for me in the front yard. I saw her take pictures of the bright, magenta roses. I saw her look at the roses with great interest. I finally asked her one day what she was looking at. She said, “Haven’t you noticed? That rose just blossomed!” I was amazed it had just opened its tiny petals, and I had missed it!
I found myself wondering what else I was missing. I started listening to Kim as she pointed out butterflies gently swooping by almost as if they were floating by on a breeze to say, “Hi!” I started to listen when Kim said, “Mom! You won’t believe it! A hummingbird just flew by and stopped right in front of me!” “It just stayed in place looking at me and flapped its wings!” These moments became significant to me because days prior Kim’s heart had been fluttering from SVT’s after she had made another suicide attempt.
Kim’s sightings got me thinking about all of the times when she and I are together and the song “Apologize” by One Republic plays on the radio. Just last week when we ran to the gas station that song was on again! Wow! For some reason over the past four years, when I am with Kim, that songs plays! When we hear the song, we both look at each other as if we are saying, “Really?” I have taken notice.
When I was in Ottawa, Kansas, volunteering for the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition show, I saw large, brilliant blue dragonflies flying low around the crowd during the reveal of the Hill’s new home. I took notice. Also, while in Ottawa, Bill was out in an empty field picking up trash from the week’s event, and he found something that you would think would be impossible! He walked into the catering tent, where I was busy cleaning, to show me and said, “You won’t believe what I just found!” He reached out towards me with his hand holding something tightly. He unfolded his fingers, and in the palm of his hand was a dime! You see, Kim and Bill have had a running joke about a dime for years. Every time Bill finds a dime he gives it to Kim. They don’t recall how this started. Wherever Bill travels, if he finds a dime, he gives it to Kim. What a special dime this one was! I took notice.
When my kids come home to visit on the weekends, including my beautiful granddaughter, my heart flutters! I have taken notice. When my husband gets home from work my heart flutters. I have taken notice. When I think about mental illness and awareness my heart flutters. To me fluttering means:
- life
- energy
- movement
- fragility
Stacy’s Flutterings blog signifies my vulnerability as I continue to open up and speak about mental illness and awareness.
And that’s the reason I started the blog, simply to bring awareness to an oftentimes shunned topic: mental illness.
Growing stronger…
