You may recall that I recently started an unsuccessful side hustle. I never claimed to be an entrepreneur and I definitely am not much of a salesperson, but last year I thought I would try my hand in selling some stuff online. The last time I posted, I was just trying eBay, but I asked for your opinions on FB Marketplace and you all said to do it, so I did.
The first thing I listed was a stationary bike. I immediately got three replies, all offering me the exact amount I had listed it for. Hurray!! Or should I say, hurray? My Spidey senses went up, I looked at the profiles of the buyers and all of them were created in 2023 and had no personal info. I blocked and reported all three. My first adversary, slayed! After that, weeks went by with no further inquiries.
I decided to try something a little more simple, cheaper and that did not need two people to lift it. I listed an end table, had an inquiry the next day, and had a pleasant conversation with the buyer over messenger. However, our times were not jiving, so face to face pick up was going to be difficult. I decided at that moment to offer to leave it on the porch and she could get it when she could and just leave me money. I figured if she wanted it that bad, she could just take it. However, she was super sweet, came and got it and left me money and then communicated (gasp!) that she had done so. I was converted!
After that I listed a bunch of other things and after about six months, I have mixed feelings. Firstly, there are a ton of flakey people. So many people ask if the item is available and even if I reply right away, they ghost me after that. I have had people ask questions about details that are in the description (and I always include dimensions, info about stains, chips, tears etc.). I want to tell them to read the bloody description and stop wasting my time, but I usually don't. I have had people fully commit, ask me to hold the item, set up a time and then ghost me. I have had people set up a time and then come an hour early! People are strange.
However, I have had some good ones and I thought I would give a seller's perspective on the perfect buyer.
(1) The perfect buyer does not use the auto inquiry "Hi, is this available?" (often used even when the items are plural, by the way).
(2) The perfect buyer has personality and says something like, "Hello [insert seller's name here], I was wondering if this was still available. If so, I would be able to come and get it today." ***side note, are there a lot of sellers who don't take down their listing even if they have sold the item? There must be, because I get A LOT of "is this still available" inquiries. It's still listed! Yes it is still available!***
(3) The perfect buyer sets up a time to get the item as soon as possible. An actual time, not "tomorrow" or "later today" or my favorite, "after 9 pm." (they clearly don't know me). The perfect buyer then messages their ETA when they leave, when they are 5 mins away and when they are outside. I love these people! LOVE THEM.
(4) The perfect buyer does not set up a time, come to my house and THEN ask if they can get the item for half off. The perfect buyer haggles in advance, settles on a price and then sets up a meeting time.
(5) The perfect buyer pays cash, in exact amounts, but I will not be mad if they want to use Venmo.
(6) The perfect buyer sends a photo of the item later, happy in its new home. đŸ§Ą
So clearly everyone is different, and I am sure the buyers out there have some horror stories about the sellers (and I want to hear them!) but it seems like sometimes common courtesy is just lacking. I actually went down a wormhole of this reddit thread and wow, there really are some way worse horror stories than I have had!
But wait, let me tell you about the saga of the suitcases. I have a set of suitcases; there are three of them, they are hard sided, they have four spinning wheels. They are nice suitcases. I only used the smallest of the three a couple of times, but I decided I was a backpack person and they sat in the garage for years. I listed them for about half of what I got them for, even though they are essentially unused. Since I listed these cases, I probably have had almost a thousand clicks on them. And for some reason, everyone who is interested in the suitcases has some issue or other.
The accursed luggage.
The first guy seemed like a creeper as he did not ask any questions about the cases, but just asked for my address right away, so I ignored him after that.
This lady told me she wasn't a flake, which made me suspicious. Also that looks like a copy-paste. Hm.
At 12:57, no word. So I messaged her.
After this, she gave me another thumbs up and then the next day, did not show, did not message, nothing.
Here is another good one. This lady messages me on Tuesday afternoon and says: Hi do all the wheels work smoothly? I just had to return a luggage set to a lady on market place. The wheels ended up being all wonky and not wheeling properly. I’m leave for a long trip Thursday and need something durable.
So I am thinking that she sounds like one of the ladies I used to serve at Nordstrom; they would buy shoes but as they were buying them would complain about shoes and you knew, you JUST knew that they were going to wear them once and then return them (which goes against your commission if they do) after wearing them. Also, their party or whatever would be the next day and they would complain about how they just can't find anything perfect (and you would be thinking that it doesn't seem strange to you!) yet!
BUT I message her and tell her that the wheels work great but I am only available Tuesday evening, not Wednesday. She goes on to then ask me my address (why!) and I give her the general area, thinking that we have a sale. Then she asks for $25 less than the listed price, which by the way is about 25% less, and when I counter, she doesn't agree, but just asks if we can set up pickup for tomorrow, and I reiterate that I am not available Wednesday and then... she ghosts me. Mind you, this exchange took place over six hours. So she texted me at the last minute (for her vacation) and then draws out the conversation and then doesn't want to come and get it as soon as possible!? I don't get it.
On the other hand, if you ever DO want to get into a side hustle, for some reason around here, plants are the way to go. Remember I talked about emptying out my plant room? Well, I was going to just put them all out on the curb with a "free" sign, but I thought what the heck, I will give FB a shot. I listed about 15 indoor plants and over the next day, I sold about 9 of them and made almost $200! Listen, I listed them cheap, including the pots, but I was going to give them away for free, so I was super happy. Drinks are on me! Plus, if you recall, many of these were propagated by me, so aside from the pot and the time, they didn't really cost me much to begin with!
Plants for sale!!
Do I know how to make a short story long, or what!?!? Thank you for listening, and thanks to those of you who commented on my original post and prodded me to just give it a shot.
Do you have buyer or seller horror stories? Are people in your area as flakey as the ones here? But most importantly, why are the suitcase people so weird!?!?!? I need hypotheses!
