Starting over.... Can be very hard on a person both physically and emotionally. I know that for me Aug/Sept/Oct of '08 was a very hard time for me personally. My marriage was crumbling all around me but I still had a 12 year old and a 3 year old to look after. Looking back now that also was the calm before the storm, oh there were many rough patches but I hadn't hit rock bottom, you know that deep dark place where you can't see a way out just yet. I was still trying to hold on to a marriage that really in all honesty had dies almost 7 years earlier. Yes I fully admit I am stubborn and will push on ahead trying to make something work, even when I really need to put the big girl pants on do a 180 and run away. That time in '08 was when the lightbulb turned on for me, when I made the choice that it was time to start over. Now was it easy... heck no. Would I want to do it again... no... but if that was what it took for me to leave a situation where I was living a lie and doing nothing but destroying myself yes I would. I only hope I would be smart enough to start over before it got to that point. Change is hard, change is scary. Change can be wonderful though, it can open up more opportunities and add value to your life. Starting over with 2 young kids in tow with virtually no help from their father at all back then, having to lean heavily on my own parents while I climbed out of that dark hole was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it also has taught me a lot, and in turn my kids have learned a lot to. We have learned to value the little things, like time together and searching out free and inexpensive things to do.... Yeah those first two Christmases the only things under the tree for my daughter were re-purposed gifts from the basement that were her brothers. For my son and I we had a few recycled things just so she could see us opening gifts. She loved those gifts, and now both kids have learned to treasure time and experiences instead of things. We were able to continue living in that house till my son finished freshman year but then we moved to be closer to my parents where the kids could go to great public schools, my parents would be close by for them to help me and for me to help them. Because starting over has also shown me what true family is, and that is something I really want my kids to experience and see. Family is there for one another, we might fuss and fight but when push comes to shove we stand together. Families talk and get together on a regular basis, not just when someone need something. And most of all family members think about one another and not just about themselves and what they want, and what works best for themselves.
This post was inspired by the novel The Mill River Redemption by Darcie Chan, about two estranged sisters who are forced to work together in order to uncover the hidden inheritance by their mother. Join From Left to Write on December 2nd as we discuss The Mill River Redemption and enter to win a copy of the novel. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.
Filed Under: Left To Write
