Humor Magazine

The Greatest Inventions That Don’t Get Enough Credit

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

Throughout the decades and centuries there has been some inventions that have changed the world….fire, the wheel, the assembly line, the Victoria Secret Bra,and the iPhone….just to name a few. But there are the unsung heroes of the invention world that never get any praise or spotlight, yet we can’t live without them.

The Windshield Visor – Oh sure…there are lots of glamorous inventions on the car: the engine, the GPS, the radio, and the windshield wiper just to name a few. But let’s take a moment to discuss the Windshield Visor, that tireless horizontal friend of sun blocking. Can you imagine how many accidents would be caused due to harsh sun glare-age to the corneas without this simple, yet effect work of art? Imagine the science and math behind this rectangle sun warrior in order to effectively allow you to see the road clearly on your morning and late afternoon commutes everyday.

Yes. I know.

Go to your car and give your windshield visor a loving pat right now.

covercraft_sun_shade_install3

The Meatball – It’s just a ball of meat, you say.

Very true my friend. That’s the whole point.

This little round mixture of onions, spices, and meat transforms an ordinary, plain, dull, boring, pasta dish into excitement for your mouth.

Not only that! And this is so true….excitement for your eyes!

Think about how much better a plate of pasta looks with a meatball on top! Next time you have a plate of spaghetti with meatballs, be sure to give the meatballs a kiss and thank them for their delicious beefy goodness.

meatball

Ranch Dressing/Ketchup – Ranch Dressing is to the south of the Mason/Dixon Line as Ketchup is to the north. That’s why they get equal billing. These two condiments have been saving taste buds from having to endure the natural goodness of raw and bland foods for over a hundred years. Whatever you put Ranch Dressing or Ketchup on makes that food magically taste like Ranch Dressing and/or Ketchup.

(If you happen to use both)

Not only does the American public thanks these two sauces, but so does; Mr. Broccoli, Mr. French Fry, Mr Pizza Crust, and Mr Celery…just to name a small few of the thousands of foods that can be covered in Ranch Dressing and Ketchup.

Hell…put them on Meatball if you want! Now go show Ranch Dressing/Ketchup some love by giving their bottles a tender squeeze.

ranch

The Extension Cord – Sure. I know. We all are thankful for them when we really need one. But think about life without extension cords. Besides the obvious, your home decor would be ruled by housing contractors in whatever little whims they may have in electrical outlet placement. What if extension cords didn’t exist and all the housing contractors decided to put all electrical outlets in the ceiling as standard practice? In a world without extension cords, this is a very real possibility. Extension cords not only allow us freedom with electronic device placement, but they also keep housing contractors in check. Go put a warm blanket over your extension cord as a thank you…just not to close to the outlet.

extensioncord

The Dust Pan –  The unsung companion to the broom. Everyone talks about the broom.

The broom is so great!

Look at the broom!

Broom-ing!

Acting fancy!

Where would the broom be without the dust pan? Nowhere!

While the Broom is taking all the credit for being the sweep of the town, and the poor dust pan is doing the grunt work. Take the dust pan out of the picture and Mr Broom is worthless. A has-been. A nobody. Sure you can sweep those old hard fruit snacks, dust bunnies, and dead bugs out the door…but Mother Earth would not like you for it. Go get your dust pan and give it a nice bath.

Dust pans like that.

And they rarely get them.

dustpan

For these four inventions and the thousands of others out there, we salute you. You do your function, day after day, without complaint, tirelessly serving our needs in a world that keeps moving. Even if your not designed to move, your there.

We are sure you could think of many, many more wonderful, over-looked inventions.

But for now, go through your house, and honor at least these four.

Good day, World!

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