Enough said.
The Lowdown: The best worst movie of the year. Sharknado is an Asylum feature that is so gloriously terrible that it became a pop culture sensation. It has everything: Piss-poor acting, crappy special effects, and some of the lamest dialog in any film ever. Still, it’s an Asylum feature, which means that no matter how funny it is, it’s still a terrible film. Some moments in the film will still make your eyes go wide with disbelief at how inane they are. I recommend watching it with no expectations whatsoever. Some booze may help too.1. The Plot: It’s a fine sunny day in Los Angeles, when all of a sudden, a massive freak storm hits the coast. However, it doesn’t just bring fierce wind and rain; it also brings sharks. Yes, the hurricanes and subsequent tornadoes have picked up swarms of sharks from the ocean and have been dropping them all over the city. The weather experts on the news blame global warming. The aptly-named Fin (Ian Ziering) operates a restaurant on the Santa Monica beach, until the storm hits and destroys it. He realizes that the storm is getting worse, so he goes to save his family with the help of his friends, who tag along because of reasons. However, it’s raining sharks all over the city. Will Fin be able to save them and his friends and destroy the sharknado in the process?
2. The Characters:I gotta give the actors in this film credit for having the balls to deliver some of the lamest dialog in cinematic history. There are blatant Jawsreferences and crappy one-liners everywhere. The film even has the line “It’s a sharknado!”, which is awesome. Anyways, the acting in this film is the pits, but at least the actors seem to be aware that the whole film is a joke and that their performances won’t be taken seriously in the slightest. Except maybe Tara Reid, who plays Fin’s ex-wife and imbues her with all the personality of a wooden plank. I guess she got the role just because the film needed another layer of terrible. She doesn’t even do anything except stand there and widen her eyes when another shark falls on someone. At least all the other actors stuff objects into sharks mouths and cock shotguns for no reason.
Duuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
3. The Special Effects: Asylum films are world-renowned for unbelievably crappy special effects. They add a layer of terribleness to their films that fans of bad cinema go for. This is probably because most Asylum films look like they’re made with a budget of about $50. Since Sharknado was made this year, it looks like it was made with about $55. The tornadoes ripping through Los Angeles with swarms of paper-cutout sharks look astoundingly awful. They don’t even seem to be tearing up the city. There are even scenes where the rain looks fake for chrissakes. Yet, the irony is that the Asylum visual effects people sure do have wild imaginations, probably induced by massive amounts of drugs. Stuff like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus definitely put together creatures and scenarios in ways that even the most insane person would never have thought of. Sharknado does plenty of this too, like in one scene where our characters decide to destroy the sharknadoes by throwing homemade propane bombs into them from a helicopter. It’s really moments like this that make Sharknado awesome in a most terrible way.
An extra $5 for the budget sure goes a long way.
4. The Best Worst Ending: It’s fitting that Sharknado would have a bad ending, but nothing can prepare you for the sheer inanity that is the film’s ending. Really, your jaw will drop and your eyes will widen in disbelief when the film’s climax occurs. It is one of the funniest movie moments ever. It makes me glad I saw this movie.The Bottom Line: Sharknado fits neatly in the category of “so bad it’s good”. In fact, it seems to have been made specially for that category. Almost everything in the film is wrong, and yet, everything in the film is so wacky and hilarious that it makes up for it. If you have a group of buddies who love to watch bad movies, then Sharknado is perfect for you. Just be sure to have alcohol handy, because it will help. I reiterate: Sharknado is the best worst movie of the year.
Sharknado is property of The Asylum and Southward Films. This review was written by me.
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