The fall
The leaves have started to fall. It’s so beautiful outside. Very soon, the world will turn white again with snow covered lands. That’s yet another beautiful season. Winters has always been my favorite season. Snow covers everything alive or dead, preserving them for the spring. It feels like the reset season, the world getting ready for a fresh start in spring. All mistakes erased, all follies corrected, happiness restored. It is so easy, in such a weather, to slip back into days from the past.
It was one such winter day when he proposed. I was so happy. No, I wasn’t happy. I was giddy with excitement. Ofcourse I said yes. I didn’t know any better at that time. I was looking forward to a white wedding in a white dress. How was I to know that it would turn into a red marriage?
The wedding was indeed white. We married in winter. The world was white, and I merged into it with my white dress. It was my dream wedding. Everything was picture perfect.
Not soon after the marriage, I started hearing stories of his straying. I don’t know why these people, who would inform me of these updates, these people who call themselves my friends, decided till after the wedding to share these details about him. If I were to know of this before, I wouldn’t have entered this phase of misery.
But, naive that I was, I thought I could change things. I confronted him and threatened to leave. This was not the life I wanted. This was not the marriage I hoped for. He was apologetic and very loving and promised he would never do this again. He begged so much and courted me all over again with so much attention, making me feel special and loved. I couldn’t help but forgive him. I really believed things would change now.
But leopards don’t change their spots. Nothing changed. And it wasn’t long before I caught him red handed. There wasn’t any excuse left after that. Nothing anyone could say, least of all him, could convince me otherwise. I had to be the heroine of my own story. Only I could change things for myself.
A walk down the memory lane is never easy. Some way or the other, reality creeps up and brings you back. I sigh and look outside the window, just in time to see one snowflake fall. It was the first snowflake of the season. I keep my cup of chocolate aside and get up to resume the work I was holding off till Winter begins. Winter is here.
2 winters back I entered into a marriage till death do us part. Today, I shall rely on winter to hold the bargain and preserve my loving husband’s body within its cold caress while I move far away from here and start anew.
Winter has always been my favorite season. Bodies are easily buried and graves could be easily forgotten once spring visits.
