The Diary of Barack Obama:

Dear Diary: I had barely finished my last delicious the mouthful of FruitLoops when my iPresidentophone  began blaring the Moscow Steel Foundry's Male Voice  Choir rendition of Keep the Red Flag Flying. I unholstered my phone and said:"Good Morning Vlad," for it was he. "Obamavitch," he exclaimed, "I am going to annihilate every last one of these terrorists who have been
killing my people in the run-up to the Sochi Winter Games. Those damned Chechens only understand the language of violence, so violence they shall receive.  " Obamavitch, I would like to ask for your restraint in reacting to any measur