The Day In Between...

All is quiet today. My heart, my soul, even my ever over-analytical mind. There is no more sorrow seeping deep into my soul. There is no more sobbing. There is no more heaviness. It’s Saturday. The day after the day of my Savior’s crucifiction. He has died. He has been laid in His tomb to rest. The stone has been rolled over the tomb’s entrance. All is still.
It’s not as if yesterday didn’t happen. On the contrary. There’s an air of anticipation about me. What does God have in store for Sunday? What amazingness is about to unfold? And it’s a reminder of a recurring theme of late... God is present in the delays.
There are a lot of delays in my life lately...
Delays of gratification. Of getting what I think I want.
Delays of clarification. Of knowing what God has planned.
Delays of simplification. Of getting rid of all the emotional & physical junk that isn’t necessary.
Delays of ramification. Of waiting for something to go wrong because of what I’ve done.

It’s clear that somewhere in this process of healing I’m stuck. And to be completely honest it sucks. I was on a such a rip-roaring journey, dealing with some heavy stuff, and breaking through a lot of it. Chains were being broken and I was finally realizing why I had been held in bondage for so long. But somewhere along this journey God hit a pause button. I’m still not entirely sure why. But things are at a bit of a stand still and I’m getting antsier and antsier by the day.
I don’t like delays. I want to know what’s coming and I want to know it NOW! I want to know what to expect and what is expected of me. I want to be whole and I want to be whole TODAY!
But delayed I am. And probably for a very good reason or more likely, reasons. 
I humbly admit that I am struggling to be present. So often my day involves looking forward to what could be or looking back at what I’ve done wrong. And too often I see this day as just another day of nothing special. I’m pretty sure that’s offensive to God, because honestly every day is special. Every day is a gift. And every day I’m able to live free because of His sacrifice. 
His message to me of late is that He is here, amongst these delays. He’s here working on my heart, my spirit, preparing me for what’s to come and healing me from what’s already happened. He’s teaching me through a different method (probably because all the other methods have not come close to working on me!) and while resistant at first, I’m learning to accept it. He is present in this pause, because where else would He be? He will not leave me or forsake me. So He’s here.
Good Friday is symbolic of healing, of the blood of Christ washing us clean. Easter Sunday is symbolic of life, of freedom, of joy in what has been accomplished. But Saturday was about stillness and rest. And God was with His Son Jesus on that day, the greatest of Sabbaths. And on this Saturday after Good Friday and before Easter Sunday, He’s reminding me that He is here.  Allowing my heart to mourn the loss of yesterday, preparing my heart for the celebration that is to come. He is telling me to rest as Jesus rested. He is telling me to be still and know that there is fulfillment in the coming days, weeks, years. He is renewing my strength, my soul, my heart for the battle that will rage on Sunday as millions celebrate the resurrection of our Lord & Savior. 
Today is a day symbolic of the shift from darkness to light, sadness to joy, mourning to praise, distress to hope. Let the spirit of anticipation and the recognition of these gentle transitions pervade your attitude and activities today. Take time in prayer as you meditate on the simple complexities of what this day means. Take today to rest and renew in preparation to enter into the story of our salvation with exultation and joy, offering praise to God for the gift of redemption. Join me today, not in looking forward or looking back, but in leaning into the delay and being present on the day in between.