Culture Magazine

The Congressional Penis Crisis

By Fsrcoin

The Congressional Penis Crisis

South Carolina Republican Rep. Nancy Mace is crusading on one of the Great Issues of Our Time: bathroom admittance.

Pushing legislation that would bar Delaware’s newly elected Rep. Sarah McBride from Capitol women’s facilities. McBride is transgender. Mace has posted videos of herself fuming and, within a short span, over 300 related tweets. Mace was unabashedly graphic: “No penises in women’s rooms!”

So much for collegial spirit and welcoming new members.

The Congressional Penis Crisis

House Speaker Mike Johnson, overseer of the institution’s toilets, bowed to Mace and decreed a rule that gender designations on birth certificates would govern. How this can be enforced might be a question. Nevertheless, Mace postured taping, with a flourish of pride, a card reading “BIOLOGICAL” above the “Women” sign on a restroom door.

No penises in women’s rooms!

The idea of one Congress member sexually assaulting another in a House restroom seems pretty far-fetched (Lauren Boebert aside). And as for penises, gay men in men’s rooms might seem a more realistic concern. Though in seven decades using men’s rooms I’ve never seen a penis in one.

The Congressional Penis Crisis

McBride’s response was admirably restrained. Saying she hadn’t come to Congress to argue about bathrooms, but Delawareans’ real concerns. And if there’s a birth certificate rule, she’ll simply obey it. Whatever.

Meantime, if this is all about penises, I wondered: does McBride actually even have one? Researching this, I found nothing on Wikipedia, but typing the direct question into Google revealed the answer: no. McBride had the surgery. Making Nancy Mace’s penis histrionics all the more ridiculous.

The Congressional Penis Crisis

And hey, Nancy — if you’re in such a tizzy about biological males hypothetically sexually assaulting females in women’s facilities — how about your dear leader Trump, adjudicated to have done the actual deed?

Anyhow, if there were really any true concern here, the answer would seem pretty simple: unisex restrooms. And the real safety threat, if any, is violence against trans people, a threat Nancy Mace’s behavior only heightens. While, true to today’s totally dishonest Republican ethos, her shtick was just performative. Part of Republicans’ shameful effort to exploit a “eww” factor to dehumanize and demonize some of our fellow citizens. It’s sick and sickening.

These are the people we’ve elected to govern us. Ewwwwww.


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