The one good thing about having 8465 dress fittings before the wedding is that I get to go to London a lot. Sure, I could have acted like a normal person and bought a wedding dress in Leeds but where’s the fun in that? Not only is it the perfect excuse to fit in a spot of Christmas shopping at Harrods but it means I can tie in fittings with blog events and catch up with friends. If you are a Northern blogger you will know that’s it’s not really feasible to pop to London for just that one event. Here’s what I got up to on my last visit. I’d get snacks if I were you, it’s a long one.
I find it impossible to go to London without having afternoon tea of some kind. Now, I’ve wrestled with the idea of taking my fiance to Fortnum & Mason but each time I’ve decided against it as it’s just too dainty for big hefty boys. And then there’s the gift shop where I’m sure he’d lose the will to live and do that typical boy thing where they just glaze over and head to the nearest seat. Luckily one of my favorite people just happens to live in London. We left our other halves to do man things while we whiled away the hours with cake and tea. Did you know that when you finish the cake at Fortnums they just bring more?
Scones too! This is one of the most expensive afternoon teas out there but once you try it, trust me all is forgiven. Once seated, you get your very own champagne butler who helps you choose a glass of bubbles you’ll love. And no, you can’t try and poach the butler, believe it or not his sole ambition is not to serve you champers at home. Don’t worry, there’s bubbles to drown your sorrows.
There’s lots of lovely little cakes to try not to mention ten million types of tea. I panicked under pressure and opted for the Fortnum & Mason traditional breakfast tea even though there was so many options.
The top tier is filled with delightful glazed eclairs and spherical cheesecakes but here’s an insider tip, don’t forget to leave an incy bit of room for the secret cake trolley. There’s battenburg and chocolatey delights and all sorts of lovely treats. Full to the brim, we waddled our way to the tube to have a catnap before dinner. I’d love to say that we didn’t just spend our weekend skipping from one eaterie to another but if I did I’d be lying. Next stop? The Shard. THE SHARD!!!!!! I had no idea we would be eating dinner in Hutong until we were on our way, our friends sprung it on me as a surprise and what a lovely surprise it was.
We ordered a whole duck to share for starter between four of us. It was delicious but I think we would have enjoyed it more if the staff had actually let us eat it all in pancakes instead of taking half away and serving it up with some fried onions to ‘enjoy’ with our mains. Other than that small debacle, it was quite frankly amazing.
The setting is breathtaking, it’s like eating dinner in the sky. Watching the sunset was quite simply mesmerising and did I mention, there’s a wishing tree? *gasps* After writing down our wishes on little cards and hanging them on the branches, we stopped off for a quick cocktail in the bar and took a speedy shard selfie. The cocktails are monstrously expensive but if you do decide to have one, make sure you try the strawberry one with the white chocolate strawberry on the side. It’s delish and totally worth remortgaging your home for.
The next morning, we woke up late craving a Sunday lunch so we hopped in an Uber and made our way to The Phene. Speaking of Uber, if you read my rant about them in a previous post, you will know they are not in my good books. I’ve recently discovered something that knocks the socks of an Uber cab. Meet Blacklane, your local chauffeur service. It works just the same, download the app, order a car and arrive at your destination at pace. You’re welcome! Right. Back to The Phene. This pub nestled in the heart of Chelsea truly is where the beautiful people do lunch and it’s the best people watching spot I’ve found in London so far. Fun fact of the day? Lucy Watson’s Dad owns it! Everyone looks like a model, has great shoes and almost every woman comes with a miniature dog in tow. We settled for these two cheeky chappies.
Now it turns out The Phene doesn’t do the best Sunday lunch ever (it was cold and the gravy was minimal) but if you’re in the mood for a cocktail, you’re in luck! There is also a stonkingly good (is stonkingly a word?’) malteser cheesecake on the menu which in my opinion should be compulsory. The cocktails were so good we decided to try a few more (for blog research purposes obviously).Whatever you do, try a skinny cocktail. They are amazing and guilt free. I can confirm the prosecco spritz and the watermelon G & T is heavenly but you can probably tell from my face that I’m not overly fond of the radioactive orange one.
After a few hours of pretending we were in Made in Chelsea, we somehow ended up in Chiltern Firehouse. It was very fancy. However, I have no photos of this and only fragmented memories so maybe it was all a dream. If you can’t take a selfie there did it ever really happen?
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