On advice-giving and (not)-taking and my 5 personal favourites. There comes a time in every girl’s life where she turns to lyrics and quotes beyond all reason in order to make sense of situations. Don’t deny it. We’ve all been there and I’m somehow there many times a day. My personal favorite that I dish out is ‘everything happens for a reason’ – I firmly believe it does – and the best advice Elodie ever gave me was simply ‘YOLO’. Try it. It works.
I’m very much an advice-giver but I’m rather stubborn when it comes to advice-taking unless you lace it intricately within a rose-tinted quote or Pokemon gym master end-screen, but lately I’ve seen the light(!!) and the good behind almost every piece of awesome advice I’ve had and, y’know, it’s pretty smooth sailing. So I thought I’d do Mama Daisy proud and share the best advice I’ve ever had.
“None of this will matter when you’re grown up.”
Accurate. If you’re still studying, whether for University, college, a PhD or secondary school, please remember this. Please.
I spent a large majority of secondary school fretting that… my hair wasn’t straight enough, my parents wouldn’t let me wear make-up to school, I didn’t have a new bag for school, my highlighters hadn’t run out so I had to take my old one in September, I had to be home by 5pm if I ‘played out’, I worried that no boy would ever like me, why wasn’t I in with the popular girls, why am I still the only one without a boyfriend, etc. On and on, I could go with this list. I was desperately concerned that without the above, I could never go on. Alright dramatic miss Mish.
Truth is? It doesn’t matter. Or it scarcely does. While by all means you can and should enjoy your teenage years, just remember you’re there to be educated. That’s important. Boys, make-up, friends and all will fall in place. And if they don’t, you can accidentally stumble upon your first beauty guru YouTube video and learn from there. Does it matter to me now that I was never popular? Nope. Does it matter to me that those popular girls once hit me in the face with a snowball and later a hockey stick? Nope. I’m so grateful that my parents cared about me enough to have me home before dark and to force me to sleep that extra 30 minutes so I could reduce panda eyes and have nice skin and couldn’t sneakily do my hair and make-up. Plenty of time for that now that I have to wake up at the crack of dawn for work ;)
Literally. None of it matters except from the real friendships you form (cheers Kayleigh and Wayne for making me laugh in the medical room after Hockey Stick Gate) and for you getting those “C’s and above”. (Bonus D for me because I’m an idiot.)
“Eat your vegetables, do your squats, wear red lipstick and don’t let boys be mean to you.”
I read this all over Instagram and Pinterest early this year and it has become my basic-bitch mantra. I don’t even care.
Honestly though, your skin will thank you for the vegetables, you’ll be able to hashtag your Insta with DatAss, red lips are for that classic thing yo’ man-crush Monday likes, and you should never ever put a boy before yourself. Let’s not delve into boys that make you cry almost every day for a month, eh?
“He’s just not that into you.”
I remember when I was 17; I met someone that I never stopped talking to. Like, literally, we talk all the time even now. Having been through my frantic ‘what, why, etc’ from advice no.1, he started talking to me at college and we had everything in common. I guess back in my teen days, you could say I fell pretty hard. (Hi understatement of the millennium.) And one night after doing that annoying talk-about-your-crush-all-day, one of my best girls just told me. “He’s just not that into you.”
He wasn’t. Or sometimes he was. And then he wasn’t.
And I learnt the biggest lesson that if someone is into you, it’s easy and fun and effortless. It feels seamless and you don’t have to worry about what 4-hour gaps between messages means, or if there’s ‘one less kiss’ on a text, or if you have to remind him of every little thing that you've already told him about once. Suck it up, if you question it for even a second, he probably isn't that into you. Believe in better.
“Reach for the moon and even if you fall, you’ll land among the stars.”
When I told my school friends and teachers that I wanted to become a published writer and/or fashion journalist, almost everyone laughed at me. People like me didn’t just become fashion writers, they’d say. But my English teacher – eccentric, passionate and one of my secret faves – wrote this in my leaver’s book. And I love it.
Always strive for the best. You never know what you can achieve and if you didn’t quite get there, you’re a step closer and you achieved more than you would have if you just turned around and did something ‘normal and attainable’. I have this quote written into the tops of the first pages of all of my notebooks.
“You always regret what you don't say.”
Finally – Queen Taylor though.
This is an odd one for me to follow, never mind to share, but I think it’s important. It’s the hidden message behind Taylor Swift’s ‘Speak Now’ and I often reference it when I feel particularly timid but I know I have a valid opinion or thought.
How many times have you wanted to say something, or tell someone something, but didn’t? Take that fear and squeeze it into a little ball. Pop it in a mason jar ;) You’ll always regret what you don’t say and don’t do, but if you tried then there – you tried. I often regret not telling my best friend how much I’d miss him and how much I realised I depended on him before I moved. And the sincerity – and moment – is gone now. Moments are all connected so grab yours while you can.
So now I’m turning the tables: share with me the best advice you’ve ever been given. I’m ready for the cheese. Pass the wine.
