There is an art to being alone.
I don’t mean the kids went to swimming lessons and the hubby’s outside bathing the dog alone, I mean seriously, seriously alone. I mean after you’re divorced, or if you have recently just moved out of your parents’ house into your own apartment, if you’ve had to move for a job away from every and anything you’ve ever known, or if your spouse is living in a different country for an extended period of time for one reason or another (be it a military placement, job assignment or school).
The art in it is to take advantage of the time and use it wisely, whatever that may mean to you, instead of allowing it to consume you.
You see, loneliness is like a monster, just waiting in the wings for you to let your guard down. It will envelop you in self-pity and make you wallow in the deepest, most dangerous part of your soul that some people should never even wish to have revealed to them. It can bring you lower than you have ever imagined a human psyche can be. And when that happens, it is extremely hard to climb your way out.
So, instead, when you find yourself lonely, as in TRULY lonely, don’t sit on the couch watching television, don’t go to the fridge and eat whatever you have to eat, don’t sleep all day….find yourself.
I know that sounds ridiculous, but it is only when you are this truly alone that you can reconnect with who you really want to be – that person that may have gotten lost along the way. It is only when things around you are truly quiet and you have nothing to think about but your life that you realize, maybe I shouldn’t have given up painting. I love to dance. I have better and closer girlfriends than I thought I did. I don’t need anyone to live and love my life and myself.
I mean, it is only human nature to get down when you’re lonely, so I’m not saying that you won’t have your down times when you cry for hours on end because it feels like no one cares. However, the majority of the time, you HAVE to make the effort to do something, be somebody, develop yourself into a person you can recognize again. Into a person you can live with and love and be happy being, and then you can start giving yourself more than you ever have been able to prior to your lonely period.
So, if you have the opportunity to be alone, reflect on yourself, reflect on your life and start living and thriving. Cherish yourself and relish your life through the art of being alone.
