Family Magazine

The 8 Essential Tools You Should Possess Before You Marry

By Shaybanks @dnceluv

A wedding day is the most important day of a woman’s life. Or so every wedding vendor will tell a gushing bride as they ask her for more money. I know women who have been planning their wedding since they were 5 years old. They have collages, numerous wedding books, and a vivid picture of how the day should go from beginning to end.

If you’re an avid reader of B.Y.M., you know that I don’t gush about weddings. I talk about the marriage.

You know I give a two shits about even you planning your wedding. I care about you planning for your marriage.

Because after the vows are exchanged, the garter is thrown, and the honey moon is taken, you’re stuck with the man you’ve chosen. You have to think in terms of two and not one. If you want to stay late at work, it has to be discussed first because that could throw off his schedule as well.

If you want to quit your job and move to Asia, you have to discuss it with him to see if that would work for him.

If you want to simply have alone time to walk around your house naked, you’ll have to tell him to go somewhere else. And if he has nowhere to go, then you’ll have to ask him to go into a man-cave or take a hike for a few hours.

You’ll have to deal with his farts, his laundry being dumped on the floor, his faulty memory, and his inability to drink juice out of a glass.

Yes, there are definitely good things too. You can bounce ideas off of him, you can get him to lift heavy things, you can have sex anytime you want (I didn’t say you will, I said you can), and you can curl up and watch TV together after a long hard day’s work.

The wedding day is not the most important day of a woman’s life. It’s important, yes. It’s a fantastic day, yes. It deserves praise, yes. But your life doesn’t end there. More importantly, it doesn’t begin there either.

You see, before you are a bride, you need to find you. Uh-huh…you. Because any newly wed will tell you that there will come a time when the honeymoon is over and you’ll look at your man and think “Oh my God! What have I done?!”

To make sure you don’t have that kind of regret, I’m writing an 8-part post called The 8 Essential Tools You Should Possess Before You Marry.

For the next eight weeks, I will publish a post that will show you how to get ready to be not only a kick-ass bride and wife, but a kick-ass woman. The series will unfold as follows:

1. Have Your Own Back

2. Heal Your Money Whore/Nun Personalities

3. Forgive, Forget, and Chunk the Duece to the Past

4. No You’re Not Perfect, But Love Yourself Anyway

5. Remember What it Feels Like to be a Princess

6. Find Your Purpose (trust me…you’re not meant to ONLY get married)

7. Define Your Life’s Vision

I’ve compiled these list of tools from listening to countless tales of regret from newly wedded wives. They waited their whole lives for this one moment to feel like they mattered and that someone wanted them and now…well…they’re ready for something more.

I don’t want you to end up like that. So join me on this magical 8 week journey into the world of you.



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