Twitter isn’t just a place for cat GIFs, cod politics, think-pieces and bitching about reality TV, it’s also a place to find love!
Spotting someone getting it on over Twitter is easy to do once you know how. Here are 25 signs those two faves you follow might be about to move on to being more than serial retweeters.
1. Regular favouriting.
2. Increased retweets.
3. Starting an @ conversation in response to nothing, not even a blogpost.
4. Meeting up and tweeting about being in same place but not mentioning being together.
5. Meeting up and tweeting about being in same place but not mentioning being together until they have an @ conversation about it two hours later.
6. Meeting up and tweeting about being in same place and tagging each other. There’ll probably be a photo now.
7. Retweets start to decline so nobody notices how obsessed they are with each other. Everybody notices.
8. @ references slow down somewhat. Mentions of “the boy” increase. Frequent DMing.
9. Pictures from a club night start to appear. It all looks quite handsy.
10. Flathunting is mentioned in passing. “The boy” references gather pace.
11. There is a request for a bacon sandwich from “the boy”.
12. Using @mentions to request a bacon sandwich.
13. Matching lattes photographed. December variation: Santa hats.
14. Using @ mentions to bemoan the other is away and can therefore not make them a bacon sandwich.
15. Using @ mentions to bemoan the other is in the next room and will not make them a bacon sandwich.
16. Requests to strangers to make them a bacon sandwich.
17. Bacon sandwich is made grudgingly and tweeted. No photo.
18. One’s retweets are modified by the other to include sarcastic commentary or contradictions.
19. One of them shaves their beard off. Subtweets galore.
20. Flirty messages to a third party about possibility of what will follow a possible bacon sandwich delivery.
21. Pictures of moving boxes and a stark bedroom with Blu-Tack marks on the wall.
22. A Marilyn Monroe-style quote about moving on but remaining friends.
23. Pornstar martinis with friends who haven’t been on pictures or @ mentioned before. One unfollows the other.
24. Increased regular favouriting of somebody else.
25. Go to 2 and repeat until you get the fail whale.
Note: If you found love on Twitter, I am very happy for you. I know I did. And I am.
