Congress is wrapping up another year, and Alexandra Petri (in The Washington Post) takes a satirical look at their "accomplishments":
United States House of Representatives, you’ve got another year under your belt. And once again, it’s time to look at your stats! You’ve cast so many votes. You’ve passed so much legislation! Let’s look at some of the highlights!
19
You held 19 floor votes to select a speaker!
That’s more than ANY previous year!
Not since 1923has the House gone to multiple ballots to select a speaker!
During these ballots, you cast more than 8,000 votes!
Of those floor votes for speaker,
On the metric of Holding Floor Votes to Select a Speaker, you’re the most productive Congress ever! Congrats!
Your Favorite Speaker Was …
Hakeem Jeffries
Jeffries received more than 4,000 total votes for speaker!
That’s more lifetime votes for speaker thanall but four politicians from the 1840s to ’50s: Nathaniel Banks, William A. Richardson, Robert Winthrop and John Sherman.
Time out
Time flies when you’re having fun!
9 minutes
2 seconds!
That’s how long you went without a speaker. The longest gap since 1962!
Well done!
Votes
But you cast ballots about more than just selecting a speaker. You also voted on matters of national importance!
This year, you held
3
Votes to expel George Santos
But the last one was your favorite. It succeeded, making Santos just the sixth member of Congress ever to be expelled!
There are lots of babies in Congress, but two stood out.
There were not one but two mystery babies held by Santos this year! Why, exactly, we do not know.
Violence
Physical violence is never the answer, but for you, Congress, sometimes, it was! Not content simply to vote on military appropriations, you in-sourced some of the violence to your own halls. In just one month of 2023 there were:
2
Physical Altercations (orThreatened Physical Altercations) Between Members of Congress!
Pow! Ouch!
Between a Senate hearing featuring physical threats and the elbow jab heard ’round the world (involving your favorite former speaker, Kevin McCarthy), that puts this Congress in the top 1 percent of Congresses for Physical Violence since the 1830s, 40s and 50s. Wow! Yikes!
Bribes
Many forms of remuneration were silver, but only one was gold:
For New Jersey Sen. Bob Menendez (D)! He’s not in the House, but as he is a federal lawmaker, we wanted to include him anyway.
Theater
Politics isn’t the only form of theater you enjoyed in 2023! Sometimes, you took in an actual production:
“Beetlejuice”
Rep. Lauren Boebert saw some, but not all, of the musical “Beetlejuice”!
That puts the 118th Congress in the top 1 percent of Congresses for Members Kicked Out of Productions of “Beetlejuice” for Disruptive Behavior! Well done!
Your Congress Dream
Your dream was to HAVE A SPEAKER.
This is a pretty baseline function, and it’s wild that this was the thing you spent the most time on!
Your Congress Fingerprint
There are many different forms of Congress. But only one you! We created a unique fingerprint, combining all the things that made your 2023 memorable.
It’s Matt Gaetz and Kevin McCarthy threatening one another while George Santos steals funds intended for a veteran’s dying dog.
Sounds like you left a big impression!
Your Congress Behavior
Overall, your behavior this year fell into three main categories:
* Dysfunctional
* Baffling
* Unproductive
Keep the hits coming!
Your Congress Type
CHAOTIC BRINKMANSHIP
Some Congresses are workhorses. Not you, 118th Congress! You were a show horse, when you weren’t stuck in the barn casting votes for speaker (your favorite activity in 2023). Not that you had much to show for your efforts!
Bills
Some Congresses are highly productive. Not this one! You were in the bottom 50 percent of Congresses in terms of bills passed, with 22 passed and eight vetoed, for a total of just 13 laws enacted!
Maybe you’ll do better in 2024 …
But there were some things you didn’t forget to make room for!
Narrowly averted government shutdowns
2
Continuing resolutions
2
Way to go!
Sometimes you did things because your constituents wanted them. Other times, you did things just for fun! Like:
Voting to open an impeachment inquiry into President Biden
Asked about what crime the impeachment inquiry was being undertaken to investigate, Rep. Guy Reschenthaler (R-Pa.) said, “Once I get time, I will explain what we’re looking at.”
Priorities
Look, you were busy this year lurching from crisis to crisis. It’s understandable you didn’t get to everything!Not every year can be a year in which you serve your constituents or pass legislation. Some years, you have to ignore a lot.According to a group of Capitol Hill interns and fellows, you received 693,170 voice mails, letters and callsdemanding a cease-fire in Gaza! Here are just a few of the other things you ignored:
PEPFAR
Child tax credit
Aid for Ukraine
Regular appropriations
Farm bill
Maybe next year!
