This list has been done by other people, but the fun thing about bitching on Facebook is that there’s always something new to make you grind your teeth. There’s something that’s been a recent trend that has been pissing me right off and inspired me to put together the ten biggest annoyances the social media giant generates, with the current winner at #1.
#10 – Charities and Causes
Since this one as been getting a bit more publicity of late you’re certain to have heard it. Facebook is a great way for charities to spread awareness about a cause and if people pass it on to their friends then it’s doing a good thing. The problem is that most people neglect to take the next step after ‘Like’ing a cause – which is getting off the computer and donating some money or volunteering their time to help out. Every single person on Facebook could be ‘aware’ that there’s a plague in Africa but it’s going to do exactly jack shit unless you do more than click the ‘Share’ button.
Also, Kony. Prime example of how quick the masses can be in taking up a cause on Facebook without fully understanding it or doing anything about it.
#9 – Facebook is Sharing Your Personal Information!
This is something that people like to get very, very vocal about on Facebook itself. Yes, they are. In case you didn’t notice those ads that pop up along the right side of the page seem to be strangely in touch with your personal interests. That’s because Facebook picks up on what you look at, write about and like so that they can sell that information to advertisers. It’s how Facebook makes so much money. They don’t share the really personal stuff (not intentionally, anyway) that is protected under the privacy act that is outlined in the user agreement that you accepted when signing up. The same user agreement that you accepted that also allows them to share your interests with advertisers.
If you’re not keen about Facebook misusing your personal information, here’s a protip: stop giving it to them.
#8 – Facebook is Going to Start Charging!
At least once a year this little gem does the rounds, a chain message that claims Facebook is going to start charging for the service they already make a bajillion dollars from a day. It’s accompanied by the instructions to forward the message on because that way Mark Zuckerberg will get the message that people don’t want to pay for the free service he provides in exchange for being youngest billionaire in the world. It never happens, and I kinda doubt it ever will. When you have the goose that lays the golden egg you don’t insist that it gives you $5 every time it lays one.
Although now I write about it I’m wondering if there’s someone out there patting themselves on the back for the job well done after they forwarded a message and put a stop to that nonsense. Huh.
#7 – Farmville
Yes, Farmville. It had to mentioned. Although Farmville in the most extreme example with stories of people sinking idiotic amounts of money into their farm/advertisement and some opening multiple Facebook accounts to score more cows (yes Mother, you are guilty of this) but the simple everyday annoyance came from a newsfeed packed with people trying to sucker you into the scam.
Before Farmville there was Vampires vs Werewolves and soon they’ll be another one, and as long as people keep playing them we’ll be stuck with them clogging the newsfeed.
#6 – We Demand a ‘Dislike’ Button!
Ever since Facebook introduced the ‘Like’ button – which has gone on to become one of their most successful and simple innovations – the public has demanded a ‘Dislike’ button that they would use to express their distaste for things. For two years there have been demands, petitions, complaints and hacks by members of the public wanting to hate on things with the press of a button. In that time Facebook has shown zero interest in implementing the idea. Can we just drop the matter?
The tone that seems to come from these demands, and any demand that people make of Facebook, is that people feel they have an entitlement to Facebook. They do understand that it’s there to earn money, right? Personally I’d prefer the ‘Meh’ button.
#5 – “I Don’t Want to Talk About It”.
Thanks for using a public communication system to announce that.
“Please pay me no attention!”
#4 – The New Facebook Must be Stopped!
Try, if you can, to remember what Facebook was like when you first signed up. Just in case you don’t remember it was pretty rudimentary. The options were limited, especially in sharing photos and videos. The way that Facebook has managed to remain the front runner of social networking is by updating and adding new features while dropping old ones. Their willingness to make drastic changes is what has kept us from switching to a newer model like Google (Plus).
Yet every time Facebook unveils a new design the shit hits the fan. Thousands of people get up in virtual arms about how crap the new Facebook is and distributing dozens of ‘official’ petitions that demand a return to the old Facebook under threats of closing their accounts. What people may be forgetting is that Facebook doesn’t give a shit. Want proof? Have any of the ‘petitions’ and threats of boycott done anything to sway them in the past?
#3 – Click ‘Like’ to Win!
There’s no better way to get your product or service into the public mindset in the modern world than viral marketing. If done right you save yourself a fortune in distribution and broadcast costs as your audience does all that work for you by emailing or sharing your video or poster with all their friends. Creating something that will tap into the viral process is the trick, and it’s seen a new level of creativity come to the fore.
This method of tapping into the social networking market is the opposite of creativity. It’s spam. Every time somebody ‘enters’ the competition they inadvertently drag the advertisement into every feed on their friends list. It’s cheap and it’s annoying.
That’s a prize that is totally worth pissing everyone off for!
Those fucking ‘Click Like to see the picture’ things that used to be popular can be considered the same kind of trash.
#2 – Linking to Groups That Offend You
Quite often a group will be started that is deliberately designed to cause offense. Recently in Australia we’ve had an ‘I Hate Jesus’ group and a profile page for Tasmanian serial killer Martin Bryant, both complete with the hangers on who makes a big noise about ‘Like’ing the page because they don’t have the imagination to piss people off on their own. Immediately you get a bunch of people telling the group off on their wall or sending them messages.
Here’s what needs to be understood – every time you do that the group will appear in your feed, therefor it will appear in your friends feeds as well. Every time you off-load onto one of these groups you’re also advertising them to everyone you know. Considering that these groups are formed for the sole purpose of annoying as many people as possible, by voicing your annoyance you’ve given them what they want. If you want to show your opposition to someone on Facebook the best thing you can do (without hacking skills) is flat out ignoring them.
#1 – If You Don’t Click ‘Like’, You’re Worse Than Hitler
You’ve seen these. The frequency of them suggest that you’ve seen one today. The most recent one to slime it’s way across my feed included an image of a young boy putting on a brave face on his father’s funeral after said father was killed in action in the Middle East. It’s a powerful image that certainly strikes a chord in anyone with a beating heart. But then someone had included in the text “If you scroll past without clicking ‘Like’ then you don’t care’.
Suddenly the reader’s emotional barometer has swung from ‘sympathetic and caring’ to ‘fuck you, asshole’. Trying to spring a guilt trip on someone is low-down manipulative and whether or not the recipient obliges your request they’re still going to hate you for it. The worst part is that the subject of the image/story is rarely, if ever, the instigator of the emotional blackmail. Instead it’s the work of some misguided twit who thinks this is that way to express their own emotional response to the piece or some bastard who’s trying to up their traffic the cheap way. The person who’s responsible for it landing in your feed is also not responsible for creating it, but they did click ‘Like’ and spread it to everyone else.
Facebook is a global community, and it takes the effort of a community to stop this plague. Next time you see one, scroll on past and feel good for yourself for slowing the annoyance of your friends and family. Try to remember that ‘Like’ing the image will do absolutely nothing for the subject of the story, just boost the ego of the dickcheese who started it.
And after you’re done reading this article, don’t forget…
Do it or you hate kittens.
About these ads &baba;
