Throughout our walk with Jesus, our spirit longs to dwell somewhere. That is how we were designed from the beginning of time. Our DNA screams acceptance and love. Even the strongest of Christians can be tricked into feeling love, elsewhere from his embrace. It’s a fall that happens too often, a fall that we must recognize.
It’s important that when a group of you sleeps, at least one keeps watch. Just one listens for the enemy in the woods as you camp. At least one holds a flashlight into the night, watching for creatures that want to kill her group while the rest. That ONE person can save a whole camp from destruction. She has one job. TO WARN.
My feet led the way down the gray sidewalk as my soul grieved my poor interpretation of the spirit. Listening deeply to our mentor, I began to take mental notes. I could see the notes floating around in my head. Over and over seeing the word TEST. I knew Jesus let us experience this to further our intimacy with him. Even still, we were stunned at our lack of understanding. I grew up in a home where this was talked about, and learned on a daily basis. I’ve always known the spirit realm was real. Why was I deceived?
Still holding the cross I purchased in my right hand, we walked along the side of the road. Our destination: the car in which we came in. I became disgusted with the cross I was holding. It was a false symbol of peace, even though it symbolized the life Jesus sacrificed on the cross for us. My hands reached in the bag , without a thought to the money I would lose if I threw it. Out it came onto the first piece of grass I saw.
A local church. I threw it onto the ground as I spit. Furious at Satan.
I didn’t tell anyone, as I was behind everyone in our group. I didn’t want that hanging in my home. I pictured it among pictures of my children and husband. It didn’t belong there. It didn’t belong in my home at all.
As a group of friends we learned more than we could have ever been taught just listening to a speaker. Often when we feel like we have failed, it’s just a lesson. A valuable one at that. Instead of trying to be spiritually perfect our whole lives, how about we find someone who has fruit that we want, and follow their lead. There is a specific reason that you are in the season you are in. You’re there to learn, and to grow. The growing pains may be painful, but in the end you will be a strong warrior in the spirit. I promise you this. I promise myself I will not fight anxiety forever. No, I will be victorious over my enemy. My body will be whole and pure, just as He made it.
My friend Ashley used an EXCELLENT analogy on this topic. She used the example of a teenage girl searching for love in all the wrong places. When a heart is unfulfilled in areas that Jesus should dwell, we search for that void. We take anything that immediately fills it for us. It seems so simple to have sex before marriage. It feels good, right? Then it must be right. I mean if my heart is in the right place then I can do no wrong , correct?
This is a clear spirit of confusion, just as we were tricked in that room, so are millions and millions of women daily. They are tricked into doing what FEELS good, just because their body says so. Our bodies can be a target for Satan to destroy our lives. I know with me, I feel the environment around me. So physically… that once it wound me up in the hospital. I thought I was dying. For sure I wouldn’t live another day. I allowed myself to become so wrapped up in what felt right and peaceful, that it tried to destroy my life.
There is one way to test the spirit , even when you feel afraid inside. DO I FEEL JOY?!”
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16:11
Be careful of that JOY you are experiencing when you make important decisions in your life. Test it. Make sure the JOY is from his guidance and presence. Invite him in to guide you, as he will never fail. We may fail, oh how I’ve failed time and again. But HIS grace is there to teach me a lesson, just as a child is learning to walk…I am learning to walk in the fullness with Him.
At my first Women’s retreat. Life changing.
