It ultimately boils down to what we believe in, and regardless of what our parents/grandparents/relatives/best friends might say or advise us on how to bring up our kid, it's always a polite thank-you-very-much but whether we heed it or not still comes down to what we believe in as dad and mom.
So, you probably know that we practice co-sleeping with Angel. I'm not going to say if it's right or wrong, if it's for better or worse, if it's advisable or you-should-never-do-it, but that's what many of us do here. It helps to make the tough nights easier to bear, it lets us know that we are not alone in the cold, gloomy winter and it gives us the courage to brave the motherhood journey in foreign waters.
I'm not sure if it's inherited but I'm quite a dreamer sometimes. Literally and metaphorically. On many mornings, I could wake up and remember clearly what I had dreamt about the previous night. There could be cheerful ones like having fun in the water amusement park, crazy ones like confessing my love to the one guy I would never like even if he was the last man left on earth, or scary ones like when the two-headed and eight-legged monsters who could breathe fires were chasing after me. Yes, nightmares - I had my fair share of them. Sometimes I would break out in cold sweat and wake up trembling uncontrollably.
Thankfully after I became a mum, I probably became so lethargic on most nights that I haven't been dreaming that much. Or at least, not so many vivid dreams that I can recount. I did dream of four numbers on some occasions but it never did help me to strike 4D lottery.
The thing is, I do realize that Angel dreams too. Ok, everyone does, I know.
The first time I saw her smiling in her sleep, that was pure magic.
The first time I heard her talking in her sleep, it made me smile because it reminded me of myself. My mom said I used to talk in my dreams and once I shouted "Fire! Fire!" and scared the guts out of her but I was just sleep-talking.
Then that was also that first time that I knew my girl was having nightmares. She would toss and turn about, give sudden shrieks as if someone was pinching her, uttered a string of gibberish that I couldn't decipher, followed by piercing cries that broke my heart.
It is at moments like this that I would hug her tightly, give her a loving kiss and whisper in her ear "Don't be scared for mommy is here with you each step of the way". It is at times like this that I feel like I possess supernatural powers, that I can be the bravest person in the world, that I will do anything to keep my girl safe from all evil.
I don't know what causes nightmares or why we will have them once in a blue moon, but I'm just glad that I can be beside her when it happens and while I used to run away from the two-headed monsters, I'm now gonna chase after them with my butcher knife and make sure they stay away from my girl.
May you have sweet dreams every night, my darling.
